To be only Mine
by HateMe-BreakMe
Summary: Shizuo and Izaya are not in love, they only use each other for certain needs. Izaya soon finds himself falling for the brute, but is in bind. He struggles to accept the fact that Shizuo desires nothing more then what they already have. It's hard to watch the one you want most being taking into the arms of another. Shizaya!
1. Chapter 1

**Here's another story I've come up with for you guys! I'm basically just coming up with things as I go, so I'm not entirely sure how I want this to end yet, but you're welcome do give ideas or inputs if you like. I would like to hear your opinions!**

**Disclaimer: Never have owned, never will...**

...

It was twenty past midnight in the city of Ikebukuro, as two bodies had made their way to the beast's apartment for their nightly ritual. Going to Shizuo's house had become their 'to go' place when either man had a need for sexual attention. To them it was normal, nothing out of the ordinary. They used each others bodies for pleasure, and nothing more. Lately, the need of coming together as one has been more often, then not.

Not that they were complaining. It was an undying appetite for sinners.

A game that neither wanted to end.

The raven haired male moaned low, tossing his head back as he carefully slid his body down upon the massive length of his partner, stretching his constricting passage. Shizuo groaned closing his dark eyes and repositioning his hips slowly to allow him better access to Izaya's tight walls.

"Hnnn Shizu-not yet!"

Clutching the blonde's forearms tightly, the informant's lower stomach tightened in discomfort once he was fully seated. A sharp hiss slipped from his swollen kissed lips. The brute's long heavy length was digging so deeply into his body that he struggled to breath. It hurt do bad, but damn did it feel good.

Tilting his slender body forward, Izaya rested his hands on either side of the blonde's head and leaned down to capture the dark pink lips with his own.

"Mmmm Izaya..."

"What is it Shizu?" he whispered nibbling on the tender earlobe.

"... ride me flea."

Izaya chuckled and licked Shizuo's gorgeous tongue before pulling back and eying his enemy with benefits. "So impatient, my love." he teased.

Pale dainty hands remained upon the bed on either side of Shizuo's head as his body slowly began shifting back and forth to expand his heated entrance. Shizuo clenched his eyes shut licking his bruised lips and carefully moved to place his large hands on the small rocking hips.

"Arrgghh...I told you not to call me that."

Izaya smirked, moving his hips faster.

"Heh, don't ruin my fun Shizu-chan. I'll call you whatever I want."

The blonde sighed and turned his head. His grip on the flea's tiny waist tightened slightly.

"Bastard..."

Izaya giggled saying nothing more on the matter. Pulling his body back to sit up fully on Shizuo's throbbing manhood, Izaya reached down removing the strong hands from his waist and laced their fingers together. A broad smile covered his lips as their lust filled eyes connected, locking in place. The raven moved his knees further apart while rotating his skillful hips up and down the thick length, growing wetter with each thrust. God how he would never tire of this. Shizuo was his drug and he was addicted.

Dirty and delicious sounds echoed as their connected bodies moved against one another.

"Mmm Shizu, does this feel good?"

The wild haired blonde tilted his head and smirked, that sexy smile making him appear so much more fetching.

"You feel wonderful, Izaya. You're body shamelessly begs for my cock-" Shizuo yanked the brunettes arms, pulling him fully against him. "-and I like it." he whispered teasingly.

Izaya mewled with pleasure and unknowingly nodded in agreement. His moans increased in volume as he continued moving his body erotically against his voluptuous partner. His eyes darkened in pleasure as he his gaze studied the blonde beneath him.

Those messy golden locks, that charming smile, that powerful and glorious body covered a thin layer of sweat, those visible abs flexing in motion, the very fine thin trail of hair starting at his naval all the way down to his nether regions. It was all so arousing. Blood coursed dangerously fast through Izaya's smaller frame, his skin flushed.

Sighing with contentment, Izaya once again pulled himself from his partner's body and laced their fingers once again. His rocking hips slowing down a fraction as he gazed at the dark chocolate eyes admiring his figure.

"Say Shizu, is that girl of yours coming by tomorrow night?"

Shizuo closed his eyes smiling lightly. Izaya's warmth surrounded him.

"Hmmm...yea."

Izaya pouted moving his hips slightly faster. Tiny moans regretfully slipped passed thin lips.

"Why do you insist on bringing that woman around...ah! hah, does she even know about... us?"

Shizuo groaned as he thrusted himself against that slim body. He never wanted this moment to end.

"Hnnn...I don't know if she...aahh...knows and I don't really care."

"But Shizu!..hnnn... am I not enough for you?"

A low chuckle escaped the blonde's parted lips. Dark eyes glanced up through long lashes.

"Heh, jealous flea?"

Gripping the brutes hands tighter, the raven narrowed his eyes and quickly moved his body harder against the blonde's shaft.

"Fuck you...ahhh..I only want to know how that woman can please you in ways...hnnn...that I cant!"

Shizuo tch'd and removed his hands from the ravens hold and planted them firmly on the underside of the pale slender thighs, aiding his partner to move faster.

"She's a woman dumbass...nnggh... and I like women..."

Izaya pouted and continued to move his hips faster. Arching his back, he reached up to slide his fingers through his black hair and gazed down at his sexy lover with lust filled eyes. A slow and seductive smile covered his flawless face.

"Unnn I can be a woman for Shizu-chan. I can be anything his little heart desires."

Shizuo's eyes widened at the comment before furrowing his brows and turning his head away.

"Che, your delusional, flea. You don't have a woman's body. Yea you're a good roll in the hay, but I like long hair and perky breasts, which you have neither. Although I will admit you have a pretty face, especially when you make such erotic expressions on top of me." he teased.

Izaya tried to look disappointed at his lover, but that last comment had him blushing so hard his face felt it were in flames. He wouldn't admit it, but he was very envious of women; well the one's that Shziuo brought home at least. He didn't want Shizuo finding release within another woman's arms, he wanted to be his one and only.

A handsome smile covered the blonde's face when he noticed the flaming blush and rendered silence.

"Aww did I embarrass you flea?"

Izaya shook his head frantically and forced himself to focus more on their connected bodies. How dare that brute insinuate such a ridiculous thing? If Shizuo was still able to speak, then he wasn't obviously wasn't doing his job good enough.

Leaning down with a tiny smile, Izaya captured the delicious pink lips below him to silence the blonde while automatically rotating his hips faster, swallowing the small moans his lover provided. Two could certainly play at this game. Tightening his lower muscles to embrace the large cock within, Izaya giggled when Shizuo groaned and shoved his tongue into his blazing mouth. The intoxicating flavor had his heading spinning.

Pulling away to gasp for air, Izaya leaned back and firmly placed his hands on Shizuo's knees for leverage, so that he could easily move his body up and down at quicker pace. He wanted to make Shizuo beg for more.

'I'll show you that I can fuck you better than any woman.'

Digging his knees into the bed, Izaya moved his body up till the massive length slipped all the way out before blindly slamming himself back down, earning a loud groan from his thrusting partner. Izaya smirked at the delicious sounds and repeated the process. He knew exactly how to treat that sexy body. He knew that having Shizuo's hard shaft undergo the consistent change of hot to cold over and over again would keep the blonde on his toes. It kept that magnificent and mouth watering body craving for more intensity.

It was all so perfect. No one knew how to play Shizuo's body like he did.

Moving faster, Shizuo moaned low as Izaya's hungry opening swallowed him repeatedly. The tight hot walls had his hips moving on their own accord, seeking more of that velvet touch. His strong grip tightened on the slender thighs as he pushed the pale legs further apart to allow deeper penetration. Tossing his head back in exceptional bliss, Shizuo panted heavily as the aching pressure continued to build up quickly. The bed creaked loudly from the constant abuse, only succeeding in making the sensation that much more enjoyable between them. Is was like they were racing to the finish line.

Who was going to finish first?

"Ahh...fuck...Izaya, damn you feel...so...fucking good!"

Izaya smirked and rolled his hips erotically.

"Hnnn Shizu...do I do it better than a woman can?"

Shizuo groaned and licked his lips. His dark eyes watched as Izaya's crimson one's sparkled with amusement. Damn that flea. Shizuo knew that bastard was jealous of his affairs, not that he really cared. Besides it was kinda cute seeing Izaya try so hard to win his affection and constant attention.

Sliding his large hands up those luscious thighs, he roughly cupped that sexy little ass and urged Izaya to move faster against him.

"Hmm although fucking a woman feels much nicer, I'm sure that allowing me to cum inside you would make it so much for enjoyable for me. You're a man, so it should be fine. I can't do such a thing for a woman after all."

Izaya whimpered and brought his hands over to place them upon the flexing stomach below. Not once has he ever let Shizuo release inside of him. The idea never appealed to him one bit.

"Ahhhh...Shizu! You know...I don't..."

"Hnnn...c'mon baby...you want to please me right? Treat me like no woman can."

Izaya mewled softly as the brute's hands tightened on his ass, his powerful thrusts slowing down, so they could enjoy the slow and delicious feel of each others skin.

"Hnnn Shizu..."

Shizuo smiled and tugged his hands, the movement had Izaya falling over and landing on his elbows on either side of the blondes head. Licking his lips, Shizuo leaned up and breathed into that flushed, tender ear.

"If not it's ok, I'm sure I could find someone who would be willing let me cum deep inside of their-"

Izaya cut his words abruptly by smashing their lips together in a heated kiss. His small hands yanked that blonde head closer to deepen their sloppy lip lock.

"Cum inside me... Shizu-chan...haaa...hnngg...fill me up... I wanna feel you so deep."

Shizuo jerked in surprise, his hips pressing deeper into that tight opening, unable to hold back any longer. With a loud grunt, his hips spasmed as he released his hot and sticky load into his awaiting partner, sighing contently when Izaya continued to ride him slowly until he reached his climax as well. Both males stilled, their panting breaths mingling together as their lips connected in a searing and breath taking kiss. Shizuo groaned as he felt his release slowly leak out of the others stretched opening. Izaya's insides became so wet, it felt like it was identical to that of a woman. God did it feel good to not hold back; to be able to let go and enjoy the sensation to the fullest.

He wanted more of this amazing feeling.

Izaya kissed Shizuo's red lips one last time before removing his body from the spent cock and laying face down next to his sex partner. Closing his legs in instinct, Izaya sighed when he felt that icky and creamy feeling stain his inner thighs. Ugh it felt so disgusting. Shizuo had better be satisfied with this, because he sure as hell wasn't. Though the sex was good, he didn't like the dirtiness it brought upon afterward.

He forced himself to push that thought aside. He might as well enjoy the now.

"Mmm Shizu...did that feel good?"

Shizuo closed his eyes with a small sighed and nodded his head. Bringing his hands up, he wiped the sweat from his forehead and turned to reach for a cigarette on the night stand. Sitting up in bed, he lit the cancer stick and inhaled deeply. Oh the sweet and intoxicating taste of nicotine, it had his blood pumping with excitement.

Not turning to look at the spent raven, Shizuo took another puff of his cigarette.

"You staying the night flea?"

Izaya shifted running his hands through his damp hair. "Mm I should really be going, but I'm too worn out. Would Shizu-chan mind if I stayed?"

Shizuo shrugged his shoulders and said nothing. Izaya sighed and buried his face into the blonde's musky and masculine scented pillow. Frowning lightly, he could smell the faint of women's perfume, making his stomach twist in disgust.

"Do you let women sleep here as well?"

Shizuo's eye twitched as he took another drag of his smoke. He casually leaned back against the head frame and glanced down at the flea.

"What is it with you and my sexual affairs? I can sleep with whoever I want bastard. Besides I already told you I like women."

Izaya narrowed his eyes and forced back a snarky remark. "But do you like men too?"

Shizuo shook his head and turned to stub out his cigarette. "Not really. You're the only one I'd ever sleep with. You're cute and small, somewhat like a woman."

Izaya couldn't help but feel happy and sad at the same time. "Would Shizu-chan like me more if I was a woman?"

Shizuo sighed and laid down next to the raven with his hands behind is head.

"I don't why you keep saying such weird things, flea. I'm obviously not looking for a committed relationship. It's too stressful. You're just getting too attached."

"I'm not..." he whispered to himself. "I just want be the best at pleasing you. That's just how I function Shizu-chan, I strive to be the best at everything. So, I may be a little envious of you bedding other women, but only because I want to be number one on your list at all times."

Shizuo stayed quiet after that.

Very smooth Izaya. He knew he lying through his teeth but he only prayed to whatever god that Shizuo wouldn't sense it. Of course he was jealous! Of course he had secret feelings for this stupid and short tempered brute, but there was no way that he could tell him. It would only make things more complicated. Shizuo specifically said he wasn't looking for a relationship, so coming out would only make things more difficult between them.

He just needed to remain quiet and swallow his insecurities. As difficult as his was to watch his Shizu-chan bring women to his bed, he had no choice but to bear with it. There was nothing he could do to change that. For once, it was a situation out of his control and he wouldn't dare risk loosing Shizuo for good.

The silence between them grew heavy, neither one speaking for several moments. Suddenly Shizuo's phone buzzed, breaking the silence. A text message. Izaya's heart pounded uncontrollably heavy in his chest. He didn't want to know who it was...he didn't...please no.

Shizuo flipped open his phone and smiled as he read the text. Izaya frowned at seeing that handsome smile. To think that someone else had the ability to put that look on his gorgeous face. It was disgusting.

Shizuo still didn't say a word as he texted back whoever it was that messaged him first. 'Just don't say anything, Izaya. Just stay quiet.' With his heart pounding in his chest, the smaller males mouth betrayed his mind, moving on it's own accord. He flinched and bit his tongue after the words slipped dangerously out of his lips.

"Who is it?"

"Kara." the blonde replied cooly. He knew it. It was that evil bitch that was sleeping with his Shizu-chan. Izaya's eyes widened at the honest and non hesitant answer. What a damn brute! It hurt even more that that bastard didn't have a care in the world. That he had just got done fucking the informant and was now texting another woman and in bed and naked with another man no less.

Izaya sighed and wiped his eyes. "She wanna see you?"

Shizuo nodded and picked up his phone when it buzzed again. Izaya studied that handsome face while those dark eyes scanned the screen, reading the text.

"Do you want me to leave then?"

Shizuo shrugged while texting back. "You don't have to. I'll tell her come tomorrow night."

Izaya felt his heart clench at those words. That's it? No 'It's ok, I want you to stay' or 'Nah I don't want to see her'.? Shizuo was just too damn honest and it only continued to break his heart a little more each time. Shizuo had no idea what he was doing to him. That damn brute was going to be the death of him and he didn't even know it.

Shifting around in bed, Izaya swallowed a lump in his throat as he forced himself to sit up in bed. "No it's ok, I'll go. She can come over if she wants."

Shizuo stopped and stared up at the raven as he got up and searched the room for his clothes. When Shizuo phone buzzed again, Izaya nervously turned to face the brute. 'Please don't pick up the phone, please tell me you want me to stay.'

"Izaya..."

The brunettes body perked up at the sound of his name. 'Tell me Shizu-chan, tell me to stay.'

"Be careful, ok."

Ouch. That stung like a bitch.

Staring with wide eyes, Izaya felt like his heart was just smashed beneath the devil's bare foot. He didn't even blink. The brute didn't even try to stop him from leaving, even after the wonderful events that just happened moments ago. Damn that bastard. Shizuo was a cruel hearted man and didn't even know it. He didn't know how he was affecting the emotional informant. That handsome and devious man was killing him damn it! It was beginning to be too much, he couldn't even stand to look at Shizuo right now.

Izaya nodded and sniffled lightly as he quickly found his clothes, dressing with lighting speed. He could feel those dark smoldering eyes watching his every move, making him want to shy away from the intense feeling.

Making his way to the door, Izaya murmured a goodnight before opening the door and making his way out.

"Izaya?"

The raven stopped and glanced at the blonde over his trembling shoulder. God that man looked incredibly sexy. He wanted nothing more than to crawl back into that warm bed and into that warm embrace.

"When are you coming back?"

Izaya sighed and turned his head away. "I don't know Shizu, you probably won't need me for a little while. You have other women to play with anyway."

Shizuo narrowed his eyes. "Fuck that, sure I have them, but I have you too and I want to keep it that way. They're not enough for me."

Izaya's body tensed at those words. Clearly Shizuo was using them, but that only made it more obvious that he was using him as well. It hurt so bad to think he was nothing more than a toy.

"Clearly I'm not enough for you either Shizu-chan."

Shizuo growled but said nothing after that. He watched as Izaya walked away without another word.

What the hell has gotten into that flea?

...

...

**End of chapter one. I hope you like it so far, this is my first attempt to making a chapter story. Is Shizuo being a huge jerk or what?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2! Yay!**

**Honestly I just started this today and just finished it after work. My mind tends to wonder a lot while I'm at work, but hey, it gives me ideas. Now before you read, I want to warn you that this chapter will end very...bad.**

**Kara interferes.**

**But do not fret, for it is only the beginning and will all be worth it in the end. Read bottom notes for more info.**

...

As soon as Izaya stepped foot into his home, he wiped his tired eyes and scrambled upstairs slamming the bedroom door shut behind him. Shedding his clothing, that reeked of Shizuo, Izaya threw himself across his bed and buried his sulking face into the cool layers of his fluffy pillow.

His head ached from ruminating nonsense.

Murmuring soft words, Izaya closed his eyes fighting back the tears that threatened to fall. 'I will not cry. I will not fucking cry, I'm not weak damn it!'

God he felt pathetic.

With trembling lips, Izaya sniffed and clutched the fabric tighter. Pressing his face into the black material, Izaya shivered and curled his body at the sudden wave of emotions that overcame him. This was a whole new feeling to him. He didn't quite understand why he was having such a horrific moment of weakness. This crisis was bothersome.

Never in his life had he felt so used; so degraded. It burned him to the very core. This horrible feeling of not being wanted was excruciating, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about that damn brute. Worst of all, he couldn't stop wanting him.

This unfriendly guilty pleasure of his was eating him alive and who else was there to blame but himself?

Izaya sighed and turned his head to the side.

Whether he wanted to admit it or not, he was the one who brought this upon himself. He knew from the very beginning what this dangerous and forbidden relationship was made of. Though this loony charade had all started by the touch of Shizuo's hands, he knew that Shizuo didn't love him, he knew that he didn't love Shizuo, he knew how wrong and exciting their bond would become, he knew that this fluke had been nothing more than fulfilling one's sick desires, but what he never expected to know was having to come face to face with the hard truth.

It scared him beyond apprehension.

He had fallen head over heels for the blonde monster and God was punishing him for it. Life was so cruel. No wonder humans went insane, to want what you can not have is a sickly disease; to desire something so precious, only to have it denied was bloody murder.

Argh these pathetic emotions were eating at his sanity.

How annoying! Damn that brute! Damn these useless emotions! Damn everything! Shizuo could just die and rot in hell. He really needed man up and get over himself, to push these silly fantasies aside and move on as if nothing happened.

With a loud sigh, Izaya sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Maybe a long hot shower would ease his wondering thoughts. He needed to get that bastards smell off his skin anyway; it was sickening. He could still feel that sticky sensation between his legs and clinging uncomfortably deep inside.

Standing up, Izaya walked by a tall body length mirror and paused to study the nude figure before him. Raking his crimson eyes over his slim form, he couldn't help be feel disappointed. Reaching up to touch the warm skin of his long neck, he sighed softly as he traced the many marks Shizuo had placed in the heat of passion. He should be angry, but he couldn't find the will to be. In all honestly he liked it when that brute marked his skin. Not only did if feel amazing to have those hot lips upon his body, but it was evidence of their taboo. Proof that this real.

Looking back over his thin body, Izaya frowned at his appearance.

"I like long hair and perky breasts, you have neither..."

Izaya's lips quivered as Shizuo's taunting words echoed in his mind.

Trailing his hands down his thin shoulders and flat chest, Izaya's frowned deepened. Shizuo wasn't happy with his body. He didn't have that 'woman's figure' that Shizuo desired and it only succeeded in making him wane his self image.

There was a point in time where he was lively and so very cocky about his good looks, but with a flick of a wrist, Shizuo had suddenly managed to change that. How is that he had been reduced to wanting nothing more than to be the perfect one for that brute? Why is it that he desired to be Shizuo's one and only? Why is it that his heart betrayed him by attaching itself to that brainless monster?

Why...?

It was question that wasn't meant to have a answer. Closing his eyes to block out the unwanted image, Izaya turned his body sharply and dragged his feet towards the bathroom. The faster he showered, the faster he'd be in bed sleeping. He wanted to lay his head down and dream about Shizuo wanting him, even if it was only for a little while. To escape reality would ease his weary mind.

'Shizuo...'

What was he supposed to do now?

...

Shizuo sighed and shifted around in bed. What the hell was going on? He was exhausted after the mind blowing sex with Izaya, but ever since that damn flea left his apartment he couldn't seem to be able to settle down and sleep. Earlier images replayed over and over behind closed lids.

What was with that face Izaya had before leaving? He looked so...sad.

Shizuo always knew that Izaya felt a small ounce of jealousy every time he talked about women, but it's not like he could help it. Izaya was usually the one who brought it up anyway. That flea was always so nosy when it came to his personal affairs, but he couldn't help that he preferred women. Nor could he help the fact that he didn't want a committed relationship. There was no taming his animalistic needs. It was just in his nature to be a free man. Geez, if he could control the way he felt, he wouldn't be doing the things he was doing.

The heart wants what the heart wants.

Crimson eyes flashed before his eyes.

...Huh?

How the hell did that flea pop into his head after mentioning one's desires? Screw that. Yea, so he liked Izaya's company and undoubtedly enjoyed bedding the sexy little raven, but he just couldn't see anything more beyond that. Izaya used him just as much as he used Izaya. There was no love what so ever.

How could Izaya ever love a cold hearted man such as himself anyway? Shizuo wasn't raised with receiving affection, so why should he give it in return?

Closing his eyes, Shizuo sighed and struggled to clear his thoughts. He really needed to get some sleep. A cranky Shizuo was unquestionably a dangerous one. No one wanted to mess with a pissed off Shizuo.

Rolling over to the side of the bed Izaya had been just hours ago, Shizuo laid his head on the empty pillow and breathed in the delicious scent. Izaya was no woman, but he still had such an enticing smell.

Buzz Buzz

Shizuo groaned and picked up his phone. It was Kara again.

-Sooooooo wasted, let's hook up!

Shizuo's eye twitched as he was quick to reply. He already told her to come over tomorrow. Tonight he wanted sleep.

-Tomorrow Kara, I'm trying to sleep

-C'mon I'm so horny and I could use that big cock of yours...

Shizuo sighed and rubbed his temples. He liked woman's bodies, but their attitudes were good as rotten. Dropping his head against his pillow in defeat, Shizuo dropped his phone on the bed and eyed it for several seconds before making his decision. Good thing Izaya went home, things were going to get messy. Picking up his phone he sent her one last text.

-Fine. Doors unlocked

-Hahaha good boy. See ya soon! Chu!

This was going to be a long night.

...

Next morning.

Dark crimson eyes opened slowly, blinking the sleep away and stretching thin arms over his disheveled hair. A small yawn sounded as Izaya rubbed his eyes and lazily sat up in bed. Despite the dull ache in his lower back from last nights events, the brunette slept pretty good. Even though he didn't remember what he dreamt about last night, it was still nice to get some peaceful rest.

Pushing the blankets aside, the slender male stood up and shuffled over to his walk in closet in search of a simple pair of blue jeans and a black long sleeved tee. He didn't have any plans to go anywhere today, so he didn't feel the need to to dress to impress. Ikebukuro for once was completely off limits in his daily routine. He didn't want to risk to seeing the blonde monster today. There was no way he could face him even if he wanted too. He was going to avoid that man for as long as he could muster. Maybe that is, until Shizuo came crawling to him first.

Izaya had just finished combing his hair when he heard his phone go off.

Buzz Buzz

His body perked up at the sound and raced to picked it up. The beating organ known as his heart, pounded in hopes of if it being Shizuo texting him. Oh how excited he would be to receive a morning text from that bottle blonde. Flipping the phone open, Izaya frowned in disappointment. It's not who he was hoping it to be. It was only Kida.

-Got those files you asked for me to get

Izaya narrowed his eyes and replied without hesitation.

-Good. Shiki-san will be proud, hold onto those files until I need them.

-You don't need them today?

-No. I'm taking the day off, just hold them ok? It's a simple task.

-Whatever, fine. Sheesh someone's cranky

Izaya frowned at the text.

-Shouldn't you been in school?

...

After several minutes, Izaya laughed when Kida didn't text back. Good, that only meant that he didn't have to talk to that brat anymore.

Shoving his phone into his pocket, Izaya ran one hand through his dark hair and took a deep breath. Hopefully taking the day off will help him concentrate on new plans. He needed to figure out what he was going to do about this Shizuo situation, and fast. He feared that bedding the brute one more time would without a doubt break the final thread. There wasn't much time. He didn't know how much longer he'd be able to hide these feelings.

If he wasn't careful, he'd loose Shizuo for good and that was absolutely the last thing he wanted.

...

Kara sighed and stretched her sore body. A small smile graced her lips as she recalled last nights events. The wild sex between the two lovers was so hot and full of undying lust, it was pure perfection. Opening her eyes and turning her head to the side, Kara smiled when she noticed Shizuo's nude figure facing away from her. His broad back looking so delicious in the morning light. She wanted stretch her tongue out and taste it.

Leaning slightly forward, she teased the exposed skin of his broad shoulder and tilted her head over his to find his eyes closed. His chest moving slow indicating that he was still asleep. How precious.

Moving back away from his body, Kara raked her hands through her tangled hair and sighed in contentment. Her body still hummed with pleasure. Shizuo never left her unsatisfied and that's why continued to spread her legs for this man. He knew exactly how to treat a lady.

He was one of a kind.

Glancing over the blonde's form once more, Kara shifted in bed and stood up to gather her clothes. Perhaps is was time to take her leave, Shizuo probably wouldn't like it is she were still here when he woke up. Just as she was about to get up and head out, she heard a faint vibrating sounding on the nightstand, on the other side. Following the sound, her green eyes landed on the small blue object. It was Shizuo's phone.

'Hmmm.'

Glancing quickly at the sleeping blonde, Kara noted that he hasn't moved an inch indicating that he was still out cold. Smiling to herself, she carefully reached over the brute and picked up the small device before heading out of the bedroom. Even though it none of her business, she thought it would be fun snoop around and see who Shizuo talked to. Sitting on his old couch, Kara smiled as she flipped open the small device.

It from someone named Tom.

-Hey Shizuo, just checking to see if you're up for a little overtime tomorrow. Text me back and let me know.

Now that's interesting. She assumed by the word 'overtime' that this 'Tom' was Shizuo's boss. Tilting her head and licking her lips, she suddenly grew curious about what Shizuo did for a living. Looking back at the phone in her hand, she closed out the message, bringing her to his inbox. There were only three people currently in his inbox. Herself, Tom, and Flea.

'Who's Flea? What kind of name is that?"

Clicking on the selected name, a recent conversation between the two displayed brightly on the screen. Reading the exchanged words, she noticed that their conversations were short and straight to the point. Sex was often mentioned between the two. Huh. So Shizuo had himself another sex partner and with a...male no less.

Kara smiled as she hugged the phone to her chest. This man only continued to grow more and more interesting by the second. A wicked giggle slipped passed her red lips as she moved the phone to her face and stared at the name displayed.

Maybe it would be fun to stir things up.

New message to Flea.

...

Izaya jumped when he felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. With a small sigh, He reached for the black object and pulled it out.

'What does Kida want this time?'

Glancing at the name on the screen, Izaya's jaw dropped in shock. Shizu-chan was texting him? NO WAY!

Wasting no time, Izaya flipped his phone open not able to fight the wide grin as he read the short, but sweet message.

-Hey cutie {:

Though it seemed out of character, Izaya didn't think much of it. Maybe Shizuo was just feeling good this morning.

-Shizu-chan! What a surprise!

-Oh? how so?

-Silly protozoan, you never call me cutie.

-I do now

Izaya paused, reading the message over and over again. He could not stop smiling.

-Awww Shizu-chan does love me!

-Heh you're so cute

Izaya giggled in the middle of responding before another message from 'Shizu-chan' popped up.

-I want to see you

He felt his heart melt.

-You really mean it?

-Of course. Tonight, come over tonight.

Izaya sighed and and turned his head away from the screen. He really should say no, he knows he shouldn't give in so easily...but Shizu-chan...He wanted to see him. His heart spoke for him. He wasted no time in replying to the message.

-Ok. Tonight, I'll be there.

-Can't wait flea

Izaya laughed at the message. Tossing his arms out with a smile, he fell back against his cushioned couch and cradled his phone against his beating heart. He had a feeling this was going to be a wonderful night.

'Shizu-chan...'

He couldn't wait.

...

**OK! Finally end of chapter 2! Whoo things are starting to heat up.**

**That Kara is a bitch I tell you! How dare she mess with Iza-chan like that?!**

**Now don't hate me guys, Izaya will be hurting for a little while but it'll get better I promise! Izaya's suffering is only for a little while. Shizuo will have his own share as well.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 hehehe**

**Ok so the drama is only just beginning. Now for those who hate Kara -which I don't blame you if you do, cause I do too- fear not cause this chapter will be the last her, if not this one then the next one for sure!**

**The pressure for Izaya is building and it may be too much for him to handle. We just have to wait and see what he does next.**

**Shizuo's true feelings will slowly begin to unravel, but Izaya wont be so forgiving. Kukuku!**

**Thank you sooooo much for all the beautiful reviews! I just want to glomp and put a big kiss on all your pretty faces. Nice to know I wont be wasting my time with this fanfic, hopefully I can keep you all interested along the way! Stay tuned for heartbreaking and maybe even blood spill -haven't really decided which route to take just yet-**

**Oh and WaxWan! I wanted to thank you especially for being so passionate about my writing. Not only have you made me smile, but you've been a true fan since the first fic I posted. Thank you so very much, nothing makes me more proud then writing for all my fans!**

**Love you! Now onward to the deceit!**

**For those who own an Izaya plush, figure, pillow, key chain, ect. Hold him tight. He's gonna need it.**

...

...

-Ok, Tonight, I'll be there

Perfect.

-Can't wait flea

That was the last message sent before Kara smiled in victory.

Hook, line and sinker. This was just too easy.

The trickery woman chuckled as she deleted the recent conversation between her and this mysterious man. She didn't want Shizuo finding out about this now did she. It would be more interesting to sit back and watch how this would play out. How exciting it would be to see that man's reaction when he came unexpectedly.

She was going to make this one hell of night to remember.

With a wicked grin, Kara made her way back to the sleeping blondes bedside and softly placed the phone back on the night stand. Eying the handsome brute momentarily, she kissed her fingers and then placed them lightly over his parted lips.

"Until later, Shizu-chan." she teased using the flea's nickname. Turning away to gather the rest of her belongings, Kara smiled and walked out of the apartment without another glance behind.

...

Shizuo yawned and stretched his arms wide. His body felt very stiff, but boy did he sleep good last night. Blinking his eyes, Shizuo raised his right arm to rub his eyes and then laid it across his face, blocking out the morning light. His body protested even if he moved one muscle. All the sweat breaking activities from the night before had him wore out. His mind and body was completely drained.

That woman was a lot to handle. Damn, and he thought Izaya was needy. This damn woman was twenty times worse. Her whinny voice still echoed in the back of his mind.

'Move faster...too rough... too slow... harder... more...fuck me harder!'

How annoying.

That spoiled bitch. It was either one or the other you stupid woman, quit contradicting yourself. God she was fucking annoying. Never in his life has he wanted to punch a woman so badly before. Damn her and her needy demands, it was too much work, but being the 'gentleman' he is in bed, he would provide her with the most ultimate of pleasures. How crude it would be to deny a lady such desires.

The weary blonde turned his head and eyed the empty space beside him. Good thing Kara left already. Just thinking about her gave him a headache.

Rolling over on his stomach, Shizuo sighed while clutching the pillow beneath his head, his thoughts began to wonder to his other precious possession. At least Izaya had the decency to keep his mouth shut and let him enjoy the heat of the moment. Even if the pressure was too much for the flea, he'd simply suck it up and let the brute use him. That's what he liked most about bedding the raven. He could move at his own pace, not to mention how hot Izaya looked when moving so erotically above him. Those dark blood red eyes had the looks to kill, it made his heart throb with excitement. So fucking sexy that flea was.

Shizuo shivered just from thinking about it. He suddenly wanted taste that snow white skin and claim that small body. He wanted to grip those small hips and force that trembling body upon him. Oh how delicious the hot walls of Izaya's innocence felt wrapped tightly around his aching need, his dripping length staining those silky folds.

His body automatically tensed.

God damn it! Now he was rock hard. Stupid flea, causing his body to react so easily. Why wasn't that man here with him right now anyway? Speaking of which, why hasn't that flea bothered to text him yet? Izaya was always bugging him for no reason.

Lifting his head up, Shizuo reached out and grabbed his phone on the nightstand. Flipping open the small device, Shizuo scanned his messages. A new one from Tom, but none from the flea. How unusual. Tossing the phone aside, Shizuo growled and buried his face into his pillow.

'Damn you Izaya, I must've really upset you last night...'

He didn't even know when he was going to see that beautiful face again. He had no choice, but just to give Izaya his space. Izaya would come back around soon enough. He couldn't go long without sex with Shizuo anyway. It was just habit, I guess.

Rolling over in bed, Shizuo's feet hit the ground as he lazily made his way to the bathroom. He needed a shower big time. Scratching his head, he blindly pulled the shower curtains aside and turned on the hot water.

After that he planned on washing the sheets. They were filthy.

...

Izaya smiled as he finished the final touches on his beautiful creation. All his hard work was going to pay off. Shizuo was going to be so happy!

Giggling to himself, Izaya placed the cap on the icing and set it aside. He licked his fingers of the sticky sweets and eyed the delicious dessert. There before him was a miniature chocolate cake with the name 'Shizu-chan' decorated on top that he decided to surprise the protozoan with. He didn't know what had possessed him to do such a silly thing, but maybe it was just because he was super excited about seeing the idiotic brute.

Shizuo was the one who said he wanted to see him, so why not treat him with a little taste of his wonderful baking skills. Shizuo would surely love him forever after this! He knew that that protozoan had a weakness for chocolate and if this was the only way into that man's heart, then so be it. He'd bake a cake everyday if that's what Shizuo desired. If he wanted Shizuo's feelings in return, then he needed to spoil that man with affection.

He wanted to make Shizuo smile.

Izaya hummed happily, removing the dirty apron and carefully packaging the miniature cake in a perfect sized box. Tying a cute purple little bow around the box, Izaya placed a tiny kiss upon his masterpiece and moved to slide it on the the top shelf of his fridge.

"I'll come back for you later, delicious cake. You have to stay here until I bring you with me to Shizu-chan's tonight. I hope he'll love you!"

Talking to inanimate objects was normal for him. Don't laugh.

Closing the fridge door, Izaya rubbed his tense shoulders and made his way upstairs. He was going to take a shower, do some laundry, eat a late lunch and then ready himself for Shizuo's place.

Hopefully that damn woman wouldn't be there. But then again, why would she be if Shizuo asked him to come by?

Izaya shrugged at the thought and pulled out a new outfit to wear. He couldn't wait for tonight.

'I hope you'll love my cake, Shizu-chan,'

...

Rubbing his wet hair with a fluffy towel, Shizuo wrapped the long cloth around his shoulders and sat down on the couch, sipping his hot chocolate. Picking up his phone, he decided that he'd call Tom and let him know he was free tomorrow. Might as well, he didn't have any plans anyway.

The phone rang twice before Tom's voice answered.

"Hello Shizuo."

"Hey boss."

"What's up man, you enjoying your day off?"

Shizuo smiled lightly and sipped his drink before speaking.

"Eh I guess you could say that, but hey, I was calling to let you know that I got your message. Sorry I didn't respond earlier, I was still asleep."

Tom laughed. "I figured. You're such a brick sometimes."

Shizuo chuckled, leaning his head back against the couch.

"But yea, I'm free tomorrow Tom. I can come in for ya, besides I'm feeling a little rusty. Maybe if I get lucky, I can punch the shit out of someone."

Tom laughed again, his breath hitting the speaker.

"Go easy on these poor guys, they have personal issues just like the rest of us. Life's hard."

Shizuo nodded even though Tom couldn't see. "...yea, no shit."

"Haha well, thanks for calling me back Shizuo, I really appreciate that. Whether you believe me or not, you have a really good work ethic. I'm glad to have you working for me."

Shizuo paused before smiling. "Heh yea, thanks Tom. I'll see you tomorrow ok?"

"Sure thing, Shizuo. Take it easy."

"Yea, you too." Then he hung up.

Glancing back at the phone in his hand, Shizuo debated whether he should send the flea a quick text, just to make sure he was ok at least. He had yet to hear from him.

Weighing the options in his head, he sighed and dropped the phone on the table. He wouldn't text that flea, he would simply wait till the flea texted him first. With a small shrug, Shizuo quickly chugged down the rest of his hot chocolate.

Izaya was probably being a little drama queen right now, so it was better to not fret about it. Maybe it would actually be a peaceful day. No Kara, no Izaya, no nobody. He could finally have some peace and quiet around here.

Shaking his wet hair, Shizuo moved to remove the towel from around his shoulders and tossed it over the arm of the couch. Laying back long ways, his blonde head rested on the opposite side of the couch as his long legs sprawled out. One leg was bent at the knee while the other foot rested on the cold floor. Raising his arms behind his head, Shizuo took a deep breath and smiled.

'Ahh yes, so nice. Maybe I'll just shut my eyes for a little while...'

Ten minutes later.

Buzz Buzz

A low groan came from the annoyed brute. Turning his back to the table, the blonde ignored the sound and cradled his head on his arms, curling his body slightly.

Buzz Buzz

The sound only continued to be ignored.

Buzz Buzz

"Ah bloody hell!" Shizuo jumped up, annoyed as hell and grabbed his phone. It was Kara again. Damn. Reading her multiple texts, Shizuo growled in frustration when she stated that she wanted to come over again tonight. No thank you. He wouldn't have minded if she didn't come over last night, but he had enough of her for one day.

-You were just here last night Kara

-And? Is it bad that I'm addicted to your giant cock?

Shizuo sighed, fingers swiftly typing back an ugly response before pausing, erasing and retyping a new.

-I'm not in the mood for this today, maybe next time

-C'mon, I'll even top if that's what you want.

Dark brown eyes widened at the message before biting his lip. He had to admit, it sounded very tempting, but he still wasn't in the mood to see her face.

-I said no Kara, go find someone else

-You know I wont stop till I get my way.

Damn she was desperate. With a small sigh, Shizuo ignored her text.

Buzz Buzz

He read the new message.

-I know you're ignoring me, but that's ok. I'm still coming over later, I promise to rock your world, baby! Chu!

That bitch.

-I said no, I have work tomorrow

-So? Can big bad Shizuo not handle late nights full of wild sex before work?

-Come here and I swear, no sex for weeks

-HA! So cute hunny, we both know you can't resist me!

-Try me

-Hahahahaha we'll see, see you soon baby.

Groaning out loud, the blonde slapped a hand to his forehead and clenched his fist. That woman was impossible. This is why he didn't date. Lovers were too clingy and he hated clingy-ness. Such trivial acts of emotions were a waste of time.

He decided to leave it that, and say nothing in return. It was only a waste of energy. Maybe she wouldn't even show up, maybe she was just screwing with him to get a reaction, who knows. Either way, if she was coming over, he was going to make damn sure it was over quick and if she didn't come over, that was perfectly fine as well.

She could go fuck someone else for all he cared. Not like he was attached to that broad.

Wasting no more thought on that matter, Shizuo dragged his body into the bedroom. It was time to change the sheets.

...

7:34 pm

Izaya turned over in bed and nuzzled his warm pillow with a tiny smile.

'Mmm Shizu-chan...'

Wait...Shizu-chan?

Seconds went by before wide crimson eyes shot open. What the hell? Looking over at clock on his night stand, he quickly jumped out of bed and fixed his clothes. He didn't even realize that he had fallen asleep, and for that long?

'Shit!' He was running late. Shizuo must me worried sick.

Scrambling around his dark room, Izaya blindly felt around the king sized bed in search of his phone and smiled when his hand made contact with the small device under his pillow. Flipping it open, his eyes naturally squinted at the sudden light, lighting up his face. Going through his messages, he frowned and stuck out his lower lip when he noticed Shizuo didn't even text him. He did forget that he was coming, did he?

Biting his lower lip, Izaya's shoulders drooped as he debated whether he should message the blonde to see if going over was still ok, or if he should just sit back and wait for Shizuo's text. But how long will that take? What if Shizuo fell asleep? What is he just forgot? There were so many things that could've happened.

It would be ok just to go to him right? He really really wanted to see that brute.

Swallowing the lump forming his his throat, he stared at the name of the man he grew to love, glowing on his screen. The suspense was getting to be too much. Giving into temptation, Izaya selected Shizu-chan's name and sent him a short brief message.

-Hey Shizu-chan, just wanted to let you know I'll be on my way now. I've got a surprise for you!

He then sighed in relief. What a load of pressure that was being lifted off his in satisfaction, Izaya ran down stairs, grabbed his coat, his wallet and specially made sweet dish before heading out and making his way towards Shizuo's place. Holding the precious cake closer to him, he couldn't help but giggle with excitement.

Shizu-chan was going to be so happy.

...

Shizuo sat on the edge of his bed, staring with dark narrowed eyes at the woman standing in his doorway. So she had decided to show her face after all. Watching her carefully, he noticed the full pretty lips painted with a dark coat of red lipstick, curved up into a sexy smile. Her short black dress shaped her small frame very nicely. Her long brown hair tumbled freely down her back and over her small, but nicely shaped breasts.

Damn. Just looking at her could make any man fall to his knees, but to Shizuo, she was nothing. He knew who she really was behind that mask. He wouldn't deny the fact that he's fallen victim into her traps before because of her good looks, but her appearance no longer had an affect on him as it used too. That luscious and curvacious body was no longer something he desired.

Turning his head with an annoyed huff, Shizuo reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a new cigarette and placing it between his pink lips. He wasted no time whipping out the lighter and taking a long drag of his newly lit cancer stick. If he wasn't so pissed off right now, he'd be laughing his ass off. There Kara was, standing in skimpy clothes and trying to hard to lure him with her seductive charm, but as if right now, it had no effect on him what-so-ever.

His dark eyes raked over her body once more. No spark, no nothing. She wasn't the one he wanted right now. He wanted something better, something more precious, something more valuable, someone like-

Buzz Buzz

Kara perked up at the sound and quickly acted by moving forward and dropping to her knees, making eye to eye contact with the blonde ruffian. Her small hands come up to cup his face. Her thin fingers caressing his warm cheeks. She was trying to distract him.

Shizuo narrowed his eyes and turned his head to glance at the phone upon his nightstand. Should he or should he not? It's not like he was in the mood for any more petty talk. Whoever it was, could wait till morning.

It couldn't be that important if they didn't call.

His decision was made when he felt an unexpected pair of soft lips against his own. Closing his eyes with a small sigh, Shizuo kissed her back with more force and then quickly pulled back, turning his head away. Placing the cigarette back between parted lips, Shizuo glanced down at Kara's seductive smile and leaned back to rest his weight on his hands.

The silence between the two began to grow heavy before Kara licked her lips and leaned in towards the blondes ear. Her teasing hands moved up and down the muscled thighs of Shizuo's leg.

"You ready to have some fun?"

Shizuo removed the cigarette from his lips and blew a cloud of smoke in that pretty face.

"You better make it quick. I want you out of here in ten minutes."

Wearing a cute pout on her lips, Kara shifted her body down the blonde's long torso and roughly cupped his clothed manhood in a tight grip. Her pout turned into a sneer as she looked up at Shizuo's bored face through long dark lashes.

"You're not even hard."

Shizuo shrugged and placed the cigarette back in his mouth. "Should I be? You haven't even done anything yet."

Kara scoffed and messaged the sensitive area.

"Just you wait baby, I'll have you crying for more."

Wasting no more time, Kara quickly undid the zipper of Shizuo's jeans and yanked the front them down to expose him completely. She smiled and licked her lips before diving down and claiming the prize she's been desperately craving to devour.

Shizuo sighed closing his eyes as he fell back flat against the bed. Placing one arm behind his head, he used the other to occasionally hold his cigarette.

The sooner this was over, the sooner he'd have this woman out of his hair.

And so he waited.

...

Izaya stood at Shizuo's door step wearing a blank face.

What now? Should he knock? Text? Call? He wasn't sure.

Ah damn. Screw this, all this bickering with himself was giving him a headache. Tapping on the door lightly, Izaya waited patiently for several seconds. Receiving no response, he tapped again and waited. Stupid protozoan, he better not be sleeping.

Maybe the door was unlocked. Shizuo had a bad habit of doing that. He apparently thought he was invincible.

Reaching for the golden door knob, Izaya swallowed nervously and very slowly twisted the knob and pushed. The door cracked open slightly. Pushing it further open, Izaya peered his head inside seeing nothing but darkness.

'Hmm that's weird.'

Making his way inside the dark and quite home, Izaya carefully moved forward and slowly maneuvered his way through the pitch black. He's been here in Shizuo's house so often, he practically memorized the layout. Tuning down the dark hallway, Izaya's eyes lit up when he saw the brutes bedroom door slightly open and with light streaming out into the hall. That only meant that Shizuo was awake.

Yay! Now he could finally give Shizuo the yummy cake he's worked so hard in making.

Izaya smiled with joy and cautiously walked closer to the open door. Though the door was slightly ajar, Izaya paused, frozen in place when he heard faint sounds coming from the other side. What was that? Leaning in closer, Izaya's eyes widened as the muffled sounds grew louder.

Was that...moaning?

Izaya's heart instantly dropped to the floor. Clenching his eyes shut, the raven slapped a hand over his mouth to hide the gasp that almost gave him away. This couldn't be happening. There's no way.

Shizu-chan?

'No...please no...God no, please no...'

This isn't real. That wasn't Shizuo. It couldn't be...it just couldn't. Why would he do this to him?

Fearing for the worst, Izaya had to see it with his own eyes. He had to witness with his own two eyes if this really was Shizuo on the other side. As much as he needed to know, he didn't want to know. He was terrified. His poor little heart was pounding so hard he could hear it beating in his ears.

Staying deathly silent, Izaya chewed on his bottom lip as he very slowly eased the ajared door, more open, just to catch a glimpse of the figures. Just to see if it was true. To see if Shizuo was really here.

Pushing the stubborn door another inch, Izaya's eyes widened in shock as his gaze locked on the image before him. His breath caught in his throat, he couldn't breath. He couldn't feel. Already his eyes began to gloss with unshed tears.

It was him. It was the only man he feared seeing the most at this very moment. His worst nightmare.

Shizuo laid with his head tossed back, lips parted, legs spread with a woman on her knees pleasuring him. Her head moved up and down at a rapid pace, Shizuo's hips moving in synchronization with her, as his strong hands tangled into her long hair.

Not matter how much it hurt to watch, he couldn't' look away. His teary eyes were glued to the indecent act.

But...

...

...Shi...zuo...

...How?...why?

...

There were so many questions running through his mind, that his brain had completely shut down. He couldn't take it. It was just too much. Looking down at the home made cake, Izaya's lips trembled as his tears finally escaped. Hot never ending tears ran down his flushed cheeks and onto the pretty box.

'Shizu-chan...'

Why?

Not able to handle the pressure any longer, Izaya dropped the precious cake and watched it as it crashed and splattered onto the floor. It was the exact replication of his bleeding heart. He was crushed and fuck, did it hurt like hell. Something as delicate as a persons beating heart was easy to damage. Permanently.

"What the hell? What was that?" He heard Shizuo yell.

Shit! He'd been found out. He didn't have time to run and hide, Shizuo would find him either way. Closing his eyes in shame, Izaya's fist tightened as his sides. He wanted to escape; to disappear, but he felt stuck.

'C'mon and move damn it! Fucking move!'

Rustling noises and loud whispers reached his ears before the bedroom door opened all the way, revealing a very disheveled and stunned Shizuo, standing before him.

"Izaya?"

The aching raven flinched at the sound. How dare that monster speak his name with those poisonous lips? How dare he say it in a tone of voice that sounded full of concern? How dare he do this to him? Izaya's shoulders trembled uncontrollably. He was so distraught that he couldn't comprehend what was happening. His body wouldn't budge.

"Izaya, what are you doing here? Izaya look at me damn it!"

It was that harsh voice again. The one he somehow grew to love.

'No...don't look...don't look up at him...it will only hurt more...'

When did he ever listen anyway?

Looking up with wide teary eyes, Izaya's heart breaking gaze connected with wide charcoal eyes. Seeing the smeared red lipstick on that handsome face had him weak in the knees. His lips trembled even more. Those gorgeous eyes watched him like he was the only thing in this world.

'Why...? Why Shizu-chan...why...?...I loved you...I wanted to tell you so bad that...that I...love...'

NO!

So very slowly, Shizuo reached up and cupped Izaya's wet cheek. His breath hitched and swung his body backwards, acting as if he had been struck by lightening. That was it. He was done. That gentle touch was the final straw. It was just too much for his damaged heart to take.

Turning his back to the only man he ever loved, Izaya pulled his hood over his head and ran. He ran and ran, never looking back. He moved his legs with such speed, that he ran like his life depended it. More tears spilled from his swollen eyes, glittering in the city lights as he ran further and further away from the pain. Despite the fact that he was truly and deeply in love with the monster, he didn't know if he'd ever be able to face him again.

Izaya was officially scarred for life and scarred with that beast's name carved into his very soul.

"IZZAAAAYYYYAAAAAA!"

The distant and pitiful scream echoed like a wounded animal dying on the streets and it terrified him. Izaya cried even harder as he moved further and further away form the man he loved. He needed to accept the fact that Shizuo didn't love him, but he just couldn't do it.

He would only continue to lie to himself as he always has. His insecurity level has risen to so many heights, that he was on the edge. He felt completely and utterly useless, wanting nothing more than to go home and wallow in his own misery.

As much as it seared him, he wanted nothing more than to remember and to forget this devastating moment at the same time.

It was a new beginning to a end and Shizuo was going to be the death of him.

...

Shizuo panted as he crouched over, resting his hands on his knees. He didn't run, he didn't move, he had let Izaya go, watching the raven flee from sight. His aching heart filled with a painful regret. He fucked up big time. For the first time, it was Izaya who was running from him.

How much it pained him to witness that look of a broken soul on Izaya's teary face. It was so strange to be filled with these new and foreign feelings. Never had he witnessed Izaya shedding a tear out of a moment of weakness and this time it was because of him. Damn. Now he had really done it. He had managed to hurt Izaya even though that was never his intention.

'Why was he here anyway?'

Looking down at the splattered mess on the floor, Shizuo's eyes widened guilt. With his mind and body weary, his strength gave out and his body collapsed causing him to fall to his knees beside the dark mess. Leaning closer for inspection, Shizuo sniffed the the splattered mess and sighed when the sweet chocolate smell caressed his senses.

What the hell was Izaya thinking?

Taking his finger, Shizuo dipped his finger into the sugary sweet and brought the delectable flavor to his lips. A very small and barely noticeable smile covered he thin lips.

'Izaya...'

"Shizuo?" Kara called from behind.

Shizuo's shoulders trembled at the sound of her voice and lowered his head. He didn't want to look that that pathetic woman right. Even though it was his fault for this fucked up situation, he wanted nothing more than to blame her entirely. Anything to ease his mind was better than nothing.

"Get out Kara." he whispered.

Kara gasped and took a step forward towards the wounded blonde.

"Shizuo..."

"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!" He growled dangerously, throwing a deadly glare over his shoulder. His fist tightened as he punched the ground causing the earth to shake and making several cracks appear beneath their feet.

Kara's breath hitched in fear and her body reacted instantly, running for the door. This was the first time she could actually say that was was afraid of Shizuo. That man was truly a inhuman. A monster.

Taking deep heavy breaths, Shizuo sighed in relief when that woman was finally gone and out of his sight. He didn't want to see her again. He was finished. None of this would've even happened if it weren't for her.

Cradling his bloody fist to his chest, Shizuo closed his eyes and slumped over, his heavy body collapsing over the chocolate mess staining the floor. God he was fucking exhausted. He just wanted to go to sleep and hopefully be able to wake up from this nightmare.

A dream. This was only a dream. Turning his head to the side, Shizuo nuzzled the sticky chocolate and sighed in contentment.

'Izaya...'

It was the last thing he thought about before he had completely shut down.

...

**Ahhhhh poor Izaya! Give his hugs everybody! Kara and Shizuo are so cruel! He goes through so much, but fear not it will get better!**

**Sorry if the last part seemed kinda rushed. It's 2 in the morning and I've been working on this all day. I'm tired and I have work in the morning. I just wanted to surprise you with another update. Makes me happy that I make you happy. I love your comments and opinions!**

**I will try and make the next chapter better too!**

**Oh and I had decided that the next chapter will be the last of Kara for good. Izaya finds her does a very wicked thing.**

**Hehehe stay tuned to find out what Izaya has in store! Bloody revenge!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Sorry for the delay guys I've been busy with some personal things, that and I've rewritten this chapter so many times that I'm still not happy with it. I was so close to giving up on this...**

**FORGIVE ME WATCHERS! I LOVE YOU ALL I REALLY DO!**

**Reviews inspire :) It makes me feel good to know I have a small fanbase, I get all giddy inside hehehe**

**Ok I'll stop talking now. LOL!**

**Well the moment we've all be waiting for. Izaya Orihara will now have the spotlight.**

**Please enjoy :)**

...

...

-Where are you?

...

-I haven't seen you around. Why won't you talk to me?

...

-Flea...seriously stop avoiding me...

...

-I just wanna know you're ok

...

-Damn it, you bastard why wont you fucking talk to me?

...

-Izaya...

...

-Please, please just...let me know you're ok...

...

Messages erased.

Staring at the newly blank screen, dull crimson eyes watered, remaining motionless upon the luminous light.

'Stupid protozoan...'

How dare he act so concerned?

Flipping his phone shut with a soft sigh, Izaya moved his cold hands to wipe his eyes and buried his face into his damp pillow stained with fresh tears, almost to a point he felt he was suffocating. He had long lost count on how many times he'd shed sorrowful tears for this monster, a man eating beast who didn't deserve them; who didn't deserve him.

Che, what a horrible mess.

It's been two and a half weeks since that unforgettable moment and it still seared him to the very core. The horrific image branded into his mind, replaying the scene over and over again. Ever since that night, that cruel and bloody moment his heart was ripped out leaving a deep hole in his chest, that stupid brute has been texting him non stop. Not once was he willing to reply. Don't get him wrong, he wanted too.

God how he wanted too. Cause we only want something we can't have, right? That's the way petty way of human emotions. To only to keep wanting more and more and never being satisfied. They were gluttony for self pity. Such vermin creatures.

And to think he was becoming one of them...

Izaya never wanted to admit out loud, but his greatest fear was falling into mortality; to lack power. These silly emotions had him so abashed that he felt inadequate. To be considered at the same level of his humans was a disgrace.

Breaking the loud silence, a soft and broken laugh slipped passed tear stained lips.

'Now isn't that rich, a God being considered human.'

How repulsive. The almighty falling to his knees to convey such weakness; to be a prisoner in one's own solitary confinement.

Funny isn't it? Ironic that a superior such as himself were able to be weighed down by such complexity, that not even he could deny that much. In other words, there was no point in fighting it anymore. He had to pick his battles and no matter how much he tried to strike his inner self, it was a endless war. Maybe it was about time to raise the white flag. Life never did play fair with anyone.

'What a poor and wretched soul I've become.'

Clutching his phone tighter, Izaya heaved a broken sigh and carefully shifted around in bed. God he was exhausted. He wanted to go to sleep and escape this agony. Ever since that night as Shizuo's, the rising moon has not been so kind. Even the sleeping sun laughed at his misery.

Shit, even the world was mocking him.

All he wanted was to shut his eyes and rest in a dreamless sleep, even if it were just for a little while, but he was even denied such bliss. His stubborn mind and body refused to obey.

Tch.

Gripping his phone even tighter, Izaya cursed under his breath, his knuckles pale from the tight grip. Damn it all! It was all that bastards fault! He was to blame! With that stupid brute invading his mind and haunting his dreams, it was impossible to find tranquility.

It didn't help that he couldn't find a reason to smile anymore.

Turning his head down, locking his sad eyes upon the small object within his grasp, Izaya flipped open the device and absentmindedly scrolled through the multiple photos until he found the one he always admired. The only one with Shizuo smiling. It was a rare sight making it the very reason why he fancied it so much. That seldom and charming smile was to die for.

What he wouldn't give to see that look again. Seeing the frozen image simply wasn't enough, he wanted more; so much more.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, the heart broken male couldn't fight the tears that brimmed his crimson eyes. He couldn't help it. He missed Shizuo. He wanted Shizuo. He loved Shizuo.

Crazy right?

What did it matter? He was already too far gone to care. Somewhere, deep down within the deepest and darkest part of his shattered heart, Izaya couldn't help but mentally hope that Shizuo wouldn't give up on him.

Even if it meant pretending.

Was too much to ask for some kind of affection? Any affection?

Slamming his phone shut with an angry huff, Izaya wrapped his arms around his middle and shivered as the darkness embraced him. He felt so cold.

'Shizuo...'

Try as he might, he couldn't fight the fact the he desired that blonde monster. He longed to hear that rich and soothing voice, to whisper sweet nothings into those rosy flushed ears, to taste those plump gorgeous lips, to drown within that warm embrace, to trace that charming smile and to connect their heated bodies together as as one.

To want something that destroyed him to begin with? How repulsive. Could he be anymore insane?

It was terribly unfortunate that the human brain and heart never synchronized with one another, always divergent with desires. Izaya may be exceptionally intelligent in the mind, but it was always his mortal heart that he regretfully followed. His heart wanted Shizuo, and that damn monster managed to steal it from him long ago. The worst part was that Shizuo didn't want it. He was a captive, trapped within own desires and often times then not, he wondered if he could be saved.

Could anyone fix his broken heart?

Bowing his head in shame, Izaya rolled onto his back unclenching his fists and softly trailed his cold fingers over his slender neck and across his flat chest. Closing his eyes with a soft moan, the raven sinfully envisioned the burning touch of a beast. God how he missed those large warm hands. Was it wrong of him to miss that ill hearted monster?

Izaya bit his lip and whimpered softly. He couldn't be anymore naive.

Shizuo was not going to change. People never change. You can't change someone no matter how hard you try.

Until that brute had the came crawling on all fours begging for forgiveness, Shizuo had lost all privileges. Laying both arms across his face, the raven wiped his eyes and forced a broken laugh. Heh, who was he kidding? Maybe not even then would he be so forgiving. It would take much more than kissing his feet to gain his complete trust.

That brute had a lot to prove.

Sighing to himself, the informant licked his dry lips as his body uselessly slumped against the messy sheets. There was no fighting it, that damn beast always managed to claw his way back into his caged heart. No matter the challenges and/or obstacles he built, that despicable, lecherous and yet so wonderfully and remarkable creature succeeded in finding his way back into open arms.

I guess you could say Izaya was partially to blame for not being able to let go. He just wanted this misery to end. The uncontrollable and massive ache lingered so deep within his chest that it slowly consumed him, painfully constricting his airways.

With much effort, the raven parted his lips and desperately gasped for air.

"Shizuo..."

There he goes calling that wretched name again! Cursing loudly in Russian, the torn informant balled his fists and tightly clenched his eyes shut. It was no surprise that that bastard's name would be the first thing he'd say out loud, but damn did it hurt to speak that cursed name on his lips.

There was no way out, he couldn't escape it. Like a deadly disease with no cure and it was doubtfully eating him alive. It frighted him so much, that this whole dreadful ordeal had him wanting to gouge out his own beating heart, to watch it bleed in the palm of his hand and to watch himself waste away with a sad smile. It was just too much to bear. At this point he was willing to do anything to make the pain go away.

'...Anything for Shizuo...'

Curling his body into a fetal position, Izaya clutched his phone dangerously tight. He debated whether to toss the device and get a new number, but hat did it matter, that idiot knew where he lived anyway. He could easily be found.

Damn it he was really at a loss. His body was on the verge of relapsing. There was hardly anything left of him.

What was becoming of him?

He was so messed up in the head that he couldn't even seem to understand his own thought process. So many mixed emotions were attacking him at once that he didn't know how to handle the suffocating pressure. It was time to face the hard truth.

'Nothing was going to be the same ever again.'

It was crazy how these wicked and forbidden games came to this. Everything changed in a blink of an eye all because that simple text, the one that said... 'I want to see you'...The one that ruined him forever.

Izaya sighed once again, struggling to fight the new wave of tears that threatened to fall.

Did he really deserve this? Did he wrong so many people that this was his punishment? Breaking the silence, the phone vibrated signaling that he received another text.

With a soft sigh, Izaya regretfully opened the new message.

-I miss you...

Shizu-chan.

He gasped lightly and slowly felt his throat constricting. Fresh hot tears beaded in the corners of his sore eyes. It hurt so much. Those short and simple words carried so many meanings. It was too much, he couldn't stand getting another text from that man. Turning off his phone, Izaya tossed it aside and buried himself beneath the cool empty sheets.

Sighing again, he pulled his blankets and curled his body into a tight ball. Though he hated thinking of Shizuo bedding other woman, he couldn't help but often wonder how long it take before Shizuo snapped from the lack of sex. It was no doubt that the only reason why he hasn't snapped yet was because of that filthy woman. She gave Shizuo things that he couldn't Izaya saw the way she pleasured the man he grew to love, he witnessed the way Shizuo tossed his head back in ecstasy as she worshiped that magnificent body.

To think that Shizuo allowed Izaya to do the same after bedding another woman. Disgusting. It made his stomach clench just thinking about it. He wanted to be the one to do those things. He wanted to be the only one who could pleasure and provide for that cruel and destructive man he was.

Closing his dark eyes on instinct, Izaya gasped softly seeing Shizuo's face and moved his hands to grip his hair. Every time he shut his eyes, that damn bastards face would appear behind closed lids. They wouldn't go away. He couldn't fight the images, he couldn't fight his lingering thoughts, he couldn't fight the fact that he still wanted him. No matter what he did, he still couldn't stop yearning. Yearning for the one man he ever wanted.

It was to late, he was already damaged. Unable to stop it, a single tear slipped down a sore redden cheek burning the skin in it's wake.

This unfulfilled desire was eating him alive.

'Shizuo...please...I wanted, I just wanted to tell you that I...I love...you..."

Izaya wiped his tears and huffed softly. No more. He didn't want to cry anymore. That was it, he couldn't take it anymore. It was time to take action. He needed to get of this hell hole and do something about it.

It was time to pay.

Forcing himself out of bed, Izaya shuffled his way to his dark closet, changed his clothes and as always slipped on his fur trimmed coat. Taking a brief glance in the tall mirror, Izaya told himself how pathetic he looked, weeping over a brainless monster.

But that was then and this is now. He would no longer wallow in misery.

Grabbing his knife, Izaya walked outside on the balcony with both hands in his coat pocket and turned his head down to the world below. He felt like a true god from up here. Remaining high while watching his favorite humans move about with their daily lives. It time to stand back up on his pedestal. No more tears would be shed after tonight.

A new plan as been conceived. Time to play a new game.

With a wide grin and wicked laughter, the informant expertly leaped from the balcony and gracefully flew through the air. This was going to be one hell of a night to remember.

'Come out, come out where ever you are...Izaya wants to play.'

...

...

-I miss you...

Shizuo had no idea what the hell came over him after sending that text to the flea. He sounded like a woman begging for attention.

Tch

Damn that fucking flea for making him worry. That asshole. He was annoyed now.

Tossing the smoked cigarette on the ground, Shizuo smashed the burning stick with his foot, crushing it carelessly before shoving his hands in his pockets and making his way home. Just another long ass day at work. Tom had kept him very busy for the past couple weeks which in all honesty, was glad. It helped get his mind off of annoying fleas and a particular overly attached woman. It pissed him off just thinking about it now. Though it irked him knowing that Kara was still trying to reach out to him, it pissed him off even more that that idiot blood sucking flea was ignoring his texts.

Shizuo grunted in annoyance and pulled out another cigarette to help ease his nerves.

Seriously, what the fuck was up with that little leech? It's not like they were a fucking couple so why did that bastard have to act all emotional. Sure it must've been 'awkward' to witnesses him and Kara in such a lewd act, but hell, it's not like he was expecting that flea to show up.

Speaking of, why the hell was Izaya at his place that night anyway? And with a cake? Ugh how annoying. And Izaya always says Shizuo's the unpredictable one. Izaya was the confounding one, not him.

Shizuo sighed and shook his head. Tch, whatever. What did it mater? There was no need to interrogate himself.

With a miffed huff, as Shizuo kept walking, he quickly pulled out his phone to check his messages. He tch'd and tossed his cigarette away when he saw four unread texts. Three from Kara, one from Kasuka and none from the flea.

Still choosing to ignore him huh? If that's how he want's to play, then challenge excepted. He still couldn't understand why the flea was being such a fucking drama queen?

Even if that idiot didn't want to talk to him, he could at least send a quick reply saying 'I'm fine' or 'I don't wanna talk to you'. C'mon, even a 'fuck you' would've been a thousand times better than nothing, for Christs sake. Anything that would to put his mind at ease, just as long as he knew Izaya was ok.

Now he was really annoyed.

'Just breath Shizuo...'

Stopping in his tracks, Shizuo closed his eyes and raked his hands roughly through his hair. He didn't understand it. Why was Izaya's absence such a bothersome all of the sudden? Why should it even matter that that bastards gone?

Was it because he really did care or was it because he's been alone for many nights and just happened to miss the others company? Shizuo clenched his jaw and balled his fists. What the hell was he thinking, getting all sentimental all of the sudden. Clearly his brain was lacking mind numbing, steamy action and was only one result to that. He hadn't had sex for over two and half weeks and it was slowly driving him mad. No wonder his head was playing tricks on him.

With a small huff, Shizuo pocketed his phone and continued walking back home. Izaya had one last chance to reply to him and he was going to give that flea until midnight and if he didn't receive a message by then, he was going to Shinkjuku to hunt that bastard down.

Shizuo smiled lightly at the thought. Heh, how ironic. Whipping out a new cigarette, the gruff blonde placed it between his lips and absent mindlessly lit the end before taking a long drag. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all. Maybe going back to old ways for old times sake would be nice for a change.

Buzz Buzz

Shizuo jumped at the unexpected text and quickly rummaged through his pockets for his phone. Hopefully it was Izaya, though that bastard pissed him off by ignoring his texts he still wanted to know that he was alive. He would never admit it out loud but he was really beginning to miss the flea. More than that, he missed holding that thin body against his and tasting that delicious pale skin.

Flipping his phone open, Shizuo eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. It was Kara again. What the fuck did she want now? He made it clear that he was done with her, so why couldn't she take the hint. He had no desire what so ever to see her again. It was her fault that Izaya and he were in the rut to begin with.

With much deplore, Shizuo read the message anyway.

-Shizuo, I'm really sorry about what happened a couple weeks ago. Will you please let us talk about this? I really miss you!

Intolerable woman!

Rubbing his temples with his forefingers, Shizuo quickly swiped his long bangs from his face and debated whether he should waste his time with a reply or simply ignore the text. Not like it mattered anyway. If he texted her she wouldn't shut up, if he didn't text her she still wouldn't shut up. There was no winning.

With a long heavy sigh, Shizuo eyed the message before swiping his fingers over the keys. After sending a short dry reply, Shizuo pocketed the phone and turned his head up to the full moon.

"You have until midnight you damn flea, or I will find you."

...

...

The moon was bright and the was air growing cold. Symbolic for tonight's soon to be sin.

At a near distance, a dark shadowy figure stood on a high roof top, waiting. Waiting for the only person that deserved an anguish worse than hell. The one person who's life would soon change forever, never to be loved ever again.

With a slight tilt of his head, the shadowed figure smiled gripping his pocketed knife tighter. Patience was a virtue and he not going to miss this perfect opportunity. He was unstoppable. Nothing was going to stand in his way now.

'How marvelous.'

Closing his eyes with a lick of his lips, Izaya chuckled and turned his head up to the dark sky. Scrunching his nose slight in disgust, the smell of rain tickled his heightened senses. As much as he despised the cold weather, tonight, it would do well at aiding him. This was absolutely perfect.

Now that he thought about it, for a time like this, maybe the rain wasn't so bad after all. It was indeed the perfect tool for washing away remains of grotesquely evidence. Any blood spilled tonight will soon be long gone. It was impeccable.

His plan was flawless.

As if granting an unspoken wish, thunder crashed with anger, hidden within the dark abyss from above. Izaya giggled as the cold heavy rain began to pour painfully against his chilled skin, soaking his clothes causing them to cling uncomfortably to his body. Though the discomfort was hard to ignore, he paid no mind, therefore he had other important matters to tend to.

Spreading his arms out wide, Izaya laughed hysterically as the rain continued to soak him to the bone. Blinding flashes of lightening lit up the midnight sky giving several seconds of comely radiance, lighting up the dark wicked grin that plastered that raven's face. And now, it has finally begun.

It's been too long, too long that he's been drowning in tides of suffocating agony. It was time stand tall. It took many days and nights for this perfect moment to come. Time to fight, claim victory and take back what was rightfully his.

No one ever defied Izaya Orihara. No one.

"I'm waiting for you Kara..." he smiled. The eerie words slipped through his lips like a snakes tongue. Moving his opaque crimson eyes back down, he noted that the rowdy bar would be closing soon. Only then would he make his move. It was only a matter of time.

This was it.

And so waited, patiently in the shadows until that wench appeared before him.

...

...

Arriving home shortly after a night stroll, Shizuo showered and lazily made his way to bed. Damn he was tired. How nice it would feel to lay in a soft bed with fluffy pillows. His eyes drooped tiredly just thinking about it.

Crawling into bed with a soft sigh, Shizuo climbed under the blankets and smiled as his head hit his pillow. Opening his dark lidded eyes, Shizuo watched as the the heavy rain tapped against his window. The distant thunder and occasional flashes of light was comforting. It was like his own personal lullaby.

Turning his head away with a sigh, the blonde closed his eyes allowing sleep to claim him.

'Shit, I almost forgot!'

He needed to set an alarm for midnight and if that idiot flea didn't text him by then, then he was going to march his ass over to that parasites apartment and comfort him. Taking a moment to think things over, Shizuo paused and then adjusted the alarm to 12:30 am. It was raining making it possible to delay him, so he might as well get a little more shut eye before coming face to face with the flea.

Shoving his phone under his pillow, Shizuo closed his eyes and hugged his blankets tighter. He didn't know what that flea has been up too, but it's been almost three weeks since their last encounter and he was nervous but somewhat excited to see that pretty face again. Actually he couldn't wait. Whether Izaya wanted to see him or not, Shizuo was going to make him talk.

Shit, maybe he'd even tie that flea down and have his way with him. He was frustrated from all the built up tension. It was only fair that Izaya took responsibility right?

Licking his lips, Shizuo groaned and tightly cocooned his body under his warm blanket. Stupid flea! Just thinking about him has his manhood reacting; begging for attention. Tch and all he wanted to do was sleep.

Ugh, he can't sleep now can he. Might as well take care of the problem, though self satisfaction was not something he was ever fond of. Not that he didn't do it when needed, It just didn't provide the toe curling and mind numbing sensation like that real sex did.

"Ahh...Izaya...' Mm what he wouldn't give to be buried deep inside that gorgeous and flushed wanton body.

Taking a deep breath, the aroused blonde turned his head burying his face into his pillow and ever so slowly trailed his hand to the waistband, teasing the skin there before slipping his hand inside. Biting his lip, Shizuo groaned into his pillow and he wrapped his hand tightly around his throbbing need. Within seconds he hurried his movements and began thrusting against his own hand.

It felt so good, so good...but not good enough. He needed more. He needed Izaya.

"Ahhhh...hnnnn..."

Biting the cotton material between his teeth, Shizuo moaned even louder as he fisted himself even harder. His entire body weight shifted back and forth with such immense speed that the bed creaked beneath his knees.

"Nnn...damn it Izaya...more. Give me more!"

Spreading his legs wider, Shizuo envisioned the ravens slender and pale body sprawled out beneath him. His cheeks red, lips parted, watery crimson lust filled eyes, short panting breaths brushing against his ear listening to the soft whispers of 'Shizu-chan...ahhhh...please don't stop...'

Clenching his eyes shut, Shizuo growled and moved his hand faster. The movement was so quick his fist blurred in action.

"Gahh...Iza...ya...Izaya...fuck!"

Then he came undone. The moment his release hit, the thunder crashed loudly in the sky along with his deep howl of ecstasy. Falling limply against his sheets, Shizuo closed his eyes and panted heavily. Damn, it's been too long since he's orgasmed and fuck did it feel good. Though the warmth he craved to embrace afterward was no longer there, he could imagine it so well. He could feel that small body quivering beside him, legs still spasming from the intense sweat breaking session.

Stretching his arms out on each side, he turned his head to the empty side of the bed that used to belong to the raven. God how he missed him. That cocky smirk and sparkling eyes. He never knew how much he really enjoyed seeing that smiling face. Too bad he wasn't here right now. Closing his eyes with a soft sigh, Shizuo's breathing began to even out, slowing down to gentle rise and falls.

"Izaya...I miss...you..." he whispered.

The name continued to slip passed his parted lips until fading away and falling into the dark abyss called sleep.

...

...

After getting kicked out of the bar after closing time, Kara stumbled her way into the rain and hissed as the cold sharp rain pricked her skin. She didn't know how she was going to get home, but if she got lucky maybe she could find a cab that wasn't being used at this time of night.

"Hey baby need a ride?" A man called several feet away. Speak of the devil. This was no cab driver but hey, any man willing to take her home was good enough for her. Wearing a crooked smile, Kara clumsily made her way over the the male parked by the curb.

"I'm drunk!" She giggled gripping his arm and looking up at him. She couldn't really see his face with drunken eyes and it was a shame that the heavy rain didn't help the situation either. The tall male laughed and loosely wrapped and arm around her waist.

"I can see that, I'm pretty tipsy myself. How about you come home with me?"

Kara giggled and swatted his arm playfully. "You're joking, you don't...even know me."

She felt the arm tighten around her waist and tittered sweetly as he lowered his lips to her ear.

"I can get to know you baby, c'mon it's raining." Nipping the tender lobe the taller male kissed her temple. "Besides, we need to get you out of these wet clothes."

Kara continued to giggle and squirm within the man's grasp. Not that she was trying to get away, but he was tickling her. It didn't take much for one to find out that she was a very ticklish person. Pressing her smaller body fully against the mystery man, Kara tilted her head to the side with a sexy smile. Damn this man had a nice figure. She wanted to feel more of him.

"Hehehe ok..." she replied teasing the buttons of his shirt. The taller male leaned down and nipped her flushed ear. Before he could say another word, a dark hooded figure suddenly fell from the sky and landed on the ground with ease. The water puddled he purposefully aimed for, splashed high and soaked them even more. Izaya snickered as he watched the man wipe his face.

"The fuck?!"

Keeping his head down, Izaya's shoulders shook with laughter as he slowly approached the couple. "My bad man, I just don't particularly like it when other people touch my things."

"Your things?" he mocked.

Izaya nodded with a smirk and raised his arm, pointing a finger at the drunk woman. Even an idiot would know what he was talking about. Getting the hint, the taller male frowned and glared down at the brunette woman in his arms. "The hell, you know this guy?"

Kara shrugged her shoulders and moved her wet hair from her shoulders. Damn she was cold. As mush as she tried to remain stoic, she couldn't stop her body from shivering. Desperate for whatever warmth she could get, Kara clung to the tall male hoping his body would provide, even if a small amount. Stupid rain, it was really fucking cold. "I don't know, I know a lot a guys." she replied cooly.

A low growl came from the man's throat as he looked back over to the dark hooded figure. Screw this. No random one night stand was worth fighting over. "Whatever dude, you can have your whore. Fuck this, I'm leaving."

Pushing Kara away, the ticked off male hurried into the driver seat of his car and sped off, while spewing water everywhere and soaking Kara even more. Izaya burst out laughing at the scene and watched as Kara shivered violently, wrapping her arms around herself and almost in the verge of tears. Her body was shaking from the cold and he really couldn't care less how this bitch felt right about know. He only had on thing in mind and that was bloody revenge. He was going to strip the one tool she used to taint his Shizu-chan and he was going to do it with a smile.

Titling his head with a wide grin, Izaya held out his hand to her.

"Wh-who are y-you?" she choked out.

"Oh you know who I am, I assure you. You just have to come with me and find out."

Kara took two clumsy steps forward before stopping and eying the shadowed figure. Though she was slowly sobering up, she still couldn't make out that hooded male through the darkness, let alone pouring rain.

Izaya licked his lips and beckoned her with his finger. "Come closer."

Kara swallowed the lump in her throat and cautiously made her way closer. She sensed something was off, but she wasn't one to judge people. Hell maybe if she was lucky, this man would taker her to his warm home and fuck her senseless against the shower wall. Oh how she liked that idea a little too much, she could feel the familiar heat pooling between her thighs.

Forcing herself to move forward, she stumbled slightly as she stepped closer. Izaya smirked in satisfaction. 'What a dumb whore. Shizu-chan really does have bad taste.'

Moving his body with ease and taking several steps back, Izaya studied the drunken woman as he slowly made his way into a dark abandoned alley. Like a dog on a leash, that broad still followed him without hesitation.

"Here kitty kitty." He cooed urging her into the shadows.

The sound of Kara's giggling reached his ears as she followed him deeper into the alley. The sound of her laughter echoed loudly made him cringe. He to stop himself from reaching for his blade and throwing it between her eyes like a dart board. Izaya never thought it was possible to despise one of his humans, but this one was absolutely a waste of life. Even if she didn't have a reason to hate this woman, he'd still find her insufferable.

"Heheh where are you, I can't see you." she chuckled blindly reaching out for him.

"Shhh just keeping following my voice."

Kara giggled again."Is this some kind of fetish of yours, leading innocent girls into dark alleys?"

Tossing his head back with laughter, Izaya straightened his head and clicked his tongue. That insolent wench was far from innocent.

"I guess you could say that. Though the woman I provide for don't tend to leave unsatisfied, my dear."

Kara squealed excitedly and stumbled forward and unintentionally came crashing onto his chest. Izaya sighed and internally gagged as he felt that woman's body flushed against his. Just being near her very presence had him wanting to run home and scrub himself clean, touching her was a whole different level of disgusting.

Forcing himself to smile broadly, the raven took her smaller hands in his and helped her stand straight. "My my, that could've been a nasty fall."

Pulling back slightly, Kara brushed her hair away from her face as soft blush bloomed over her face. She's been with many men before, but only few were able to light the spark inside her. Which he did easily. The thought of feeling that slim body pressed so intimately against hers had her weak in the knees. His male spicy and rain watered aroma tickled her nose, causing her to crave more. His unique structure and mysterious aura was one of a kind.

Without warning, Kara's breath hitched as her body was pushed against the wall, the delicious scented male pressing himself against her once again. Tilting his head to the side, Izaya smiled as he reached up to trace her red lips with his index finger.

"Such pretty lips." he whispered gripping her chin softly. Looking into her deep green eyes, Izaya narrowed his own from beneath his hood. She couldn't see the face he wore. He made damn sure to keep his face hidden. He doubted she'd recognize him even if she get catch a glimpse of his face, but for better sake he made sure to remain cloaked.

Just having skin on skin contact with this despicable woman made his skin crawl in disgust. Knowing that her filthy mouth and tainted hands were ever, with who ever and undeniably placed on his Shizu-chan had him burning with lust; a lust for conflicting pain.

"Mmm, you want me to kiss you, don't you?" She teased.

Izaya bit his tongue to prevent a snarky remark and leaned in to softly trace his lips over her jaw line. "You want to kiss me, don't you?" he teased.

Kara leaded her head against the wall so she could look up at the hooded face. The heavy, cold and painful rain was long gone at this point. To her, there was only them and the sensation he was giving had her burning up on the inside.

"Yes, I want to kiss you."

Izaya chuckled and pressed a finger to her lips. "Ah maybe momentarily you shall, but for now I'd like this pretty mouth elsewhere."

Kara wore a cheeky smile as she licked her lips. Those words spoke for themselves, she knew what the other wanted. "You want me to suck you off?"

Leaning in closer, Izaya gripped her chin and placed his lips to her ear. "Such vulgar words, but if you must know, yes I would much enjoy that."

Answering with a small nod, Kara looked down and hooked her fingers onto his belt, struggling to get it open. Izaya shook his head and gripped her chin tighter. She whimpered at the roughness and looked up into his shadowed face, her green eyes widening in desire.

"On your knees." He commanded pushing her down without care. Kara hissed landing roughly on her knees and quickly disguised her discomfort by glancing up at him with a wicked smirk.

"Like it rough, do you?"

Izaya ignored her comment. "Open your mouth, let me see that pretty tongue."

Kara smiled licking her lips and doing as told. Opening her mouth slowly, she tilted her head back allowing him entrance into her awaiting cavern. Izaya narrowed his eyes and tch'd unhooking his belt but nothing more. Bringing his hands down to cup her face, he trailed his fingers to her parted lips and tapped the bottom one.

"Mm such an erotic face, your tongue Kara. Let me see your tongue."

Kara paused and looked up at him questioningly. "How do you know my name?"

Izaya chuckled and continued caress her face. "I told you we were acquaintances, did I not?"

"But-"

"Shhh, I promise this will feel good. Now I'm not gonna ask you again, let me see your tongue."

To be honest Kara was growing nervous but did as requested anyway. Ever so slowly she glided her tongue across her lips and over his wandering fingers. She hummed in delight as she felt the long digits caress the moist muscle. Damn he tasted as good as he smelled. Kara moaned and wrapped her lips around his fingers.

At the sound of the pitiful moan, Izaya narrowed his eyes and roughly gripped her tongue and tugging hard. Kara whimpered, eyes watered as she tried closing her mouth on instinct and tried pulling away fro the firm grasp. "Keep your mouth open whore."

Kara closed her eyes, gasping for breath and forced herself to do as told. Why was he doing this? Why was he hurting her all of the sudden? It wasn't long before the sound of a switchblade whipped the air. Opening her eyes in fear, Kara panicked as she looked up at her captor with teary eyes to see that the male was smiling wickedly.

"Nnn..." She tried to cry no, but with her tongue trapped she couldn't say a word.

"Are you scared Kara?" Izaya teased bring his blade closer to her face. He chuckled as she stared at her frighted reflection within the sliver blade. Shaking her head, Kara continued to beg, struggling for words.

"You think I should spare you?"

Kara nodded her head once again as the tears began to spill. With a harsh scoff, Izaya leaned over and placed his lips next to her ear. She could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. It scared her even more knowing that he was enjoying this.

"You took something that was precious to me and so now I'm going to take something that is precious to you. You see with this filthy mouth of yours you have defiled my Shizu-chan, and now I'm going to remove this tool of yours that way you can never defile another human being. Without your tongue, how will you ever give another man head? Hah, you're so pathetic Kara. Without your tongue, you will never be able to speak again, nor will anyone ever love you. Who would ever wanna be with such a hideous creature?"

Kara whimpered and cried and Izaya's grip tightened. Her pleas going ignored as the raven continued to torment his prey.

"Not that you know you know who I am, I just wanna make things clear before I let your pathetic life go. If you ever, EVER, lay eyes on my Shizu-chan again I will gouge out your eyes. And if you dare run to the police-" pulling away from the sloppy tear stained face, Izaya lowered his blade to the tip of her tongue. "-I will kill you."

Kara nodded her head in fear. She was trapped and terrified for her life. The only choice she had right now was go along with Izaya's game and maybe, just maybe, she'd be able to make it out alive. Gripping he wet muscle tighter, Izaya scrunched his face in disgust of how pathetic she looked right now. To make matters even more vile, that disgusting muscle infested with filth has been trapped between his fingers much longer than he liked.

Smirking wickedly, Izaya lifted the blade and pointed it downward ready to strike.

"Now, this will only hurt a little."

Sweeping his knife down, Izaya laughed as the sharp blade sliced through the air. Deathly screams silenced by roaring thunder and fresh blood staining the dark walls was the last amount of the ruinous evidence before washing away.

...

...

1:42 am

Izaya arrived home, heading straight for the bathroom, removing his bloody jacket on the way. He had to remind himself to burn the item. It was ruined by that's wench's filth. Disgusting. Good thing he always kept a spare.

Coming face to face with his reflection in the mirror, Izaya smiled and brought his hands up to trace his bloody cheeks before bracing himself and placing both hands on the mirror. Leaning in, his smile grew as he licked his lips in satisfaction.

A small chuckle erupted into a manic laughter as Izaya closed his eyes and tossed his head back.

"Revenge! I got my bloody revenge on that filthy waste of life!"

Looking back at his bloody image, Izaya smeared the blood on his face and neck before gripping the bottom of his black tee and yanking it over his head. Tossing the bloody shirt into the trash, he noted to burn that as well. It wouldn't be smart to have any evidence of tonight.

Turning his back to the mirror, Izaya removed his pants, socks and underpants and tossed them along with his shirt ans jacket. Opening the shower curtain, the raven turned on the water to the hottest temperature he could handle and stepped inside. A small smile grew on his bloody face as the water warmed his cold achy body while doing it's duty in washing away the tainted blood.

Leaning against the shower wall, Izaya brough ta hand up to his mouth to hide his mischievous smile. Muffled laughter slipped from between his covered lips. Even after being the cause of ruing someone's life and staining the earth with their blood, Izaya never felt so good in his life. The adrenaline was pumping through his veins that he felt something deep within was activated. He somehow was completely energized. It was the same feeling he used to get when Shizuo would angerly chase him out of Ikebukuro, the same feeling he used to get before he and Shizuo decided to become fuck buddies.

Oh how things have changed since then. And how things have changed even now.

Izaya sighed as he began scrubbing his body clean. His mind had to wander to Shizuo again didn't it. Every time he thought about that brute, his heart would ache reminding him of that night. Though he felt satisfied with his revenge, that whole scenario did nothing for the lonely gap between Shizuo and himself. He would do pretty much anything to fix it, but if Shizuo wanted this to be fixed also then he would have to prove it.

Izaya tch'd as he felt a headache coming on. Damn that bastard, not only did he have control of his heart, but he had his mind, body and soul as well. Shizuo had theivingly stole everything from him and he didn't think he'd ever get any of it back. Hell, he couldn't even manage to capture the heart of the only man he ever wanted.

Damn it all.

With a small huff, Izaya quickly washed his hair and hurried himself out of the shower. Wrapping the towel around his head, he went to his room, put on a fresh pair of clothes and with a soft sigh he let his body crash against his soft king sized bed. Boy did it feel good to be clean, especially after being covered in someone else's blood.

Turing over in bed, Izaya yawned softly before he eyes landed on his phone laying carelessly on the floor. Oh! That's right, he must've forgot about it after tossing it earlier today after reading Shizuo's text. With a small 'oof' Izaya stood up and walked over to pick up his phone. Flipping it open, he noticed he had two new texts. One from Shiki and the other from...Shizu-chan?

Shit!

Opening the message, Izaya's eyes quickly scanned over the message.

-Alright flea, I gave you until 12:30 tonight to text me back and because you choose to ignore me, I'm coming over. You better be there

Izaya bit his lip nervously and stole a quick glace at the clock on his night stand. Looking back at his phone, the informant felt his heart rate pumping faster. That message was sent over forty-five minutes ago. Then that means-!

CRASH!

"IIZZAAAYYYAAAA!"

Crimson eye's widened in shock and flight fear. Oh no! Shizu-chan's here, what was he gonna do? He was unarmed and unable to process his thoughts fast enough. Hearing heavy footsteps marching their way up the stairs, Izaya calculated that he had exactly 3.4 seconds before that brute came crashing though his door. Why is it that his mind couldn't process anything else more beneficial?

'In 3...2...1...'

Boom!

The door flew open, and behind the damaged rubble stood a panting, slightly disheveled, and drop dead gorgeous beast inside the doorway of his bedroom; his private domain. What did it matter now? It was too late for trivial thinking. The monster has arrived and there was no escaping it. Not knowing what else to do, Izaya stood motionless, his lips trembled watching as the blazing charcoal eyes of his captor burned into his own wide crimson eyes. He was at a loss for words.

Seeing Shizuo again after so long took his breath away. He couldn't breath.

What now?

...

...

**Sooo this isn't what I expected at all, kinda different from what I had in mind, but a lot of times when I type my hands move on their own accord. It's like they have a mind of their own.**

**Also I'm sorry for all the misspelling and typos, like I've said I've rewritten this chapter so many times I'm actually annoyed with it. Idk it's still not good enough to me :(**

**I don't wanna disappoint you guys! Even though I don't like it I hope you guys do!**

**Oh! I can say Izaya had a badass moment ;) hehehe**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 guys Yay!**

**So as I've said before, I'm just coming up with things as I go and I've already come up with 2 different endings. A good and a bad.**

**I'm not sure if I want it to be a happy ending or a sad ending, but either way I go I already have both endings planned out. I just need to see where this story leads me. Let me know what you guys think?**

**I hope you like ^^**

**Also, thank you again for your reviews. This story may not be so popular, but I'm grateful for those who admire this story! THANK YOU!**

**Ki2325-thank you sooo very much for your kind review! You inspire me so and I'm so glad that you find this story enjoyable to read.**

**WaxWan- OMG! You're always sooo very kind in your reviews, I love that you take the time to leave such elaborate and beautiful reviews on all my stories! *hug* You also inspire me to write more. I'm so glad that you consider me as one of your fav authors, that really means so much to me. And don't worry you never annoy me. Even you comments about liking Shizaya better than Izuo, I don't blame you ahaha I agree I like Shizaya better too, but I just like to mix things up ya know? Oh and that last review you left about being in love with me! That cracked me up hahahaha especially the (creepy raper smile) LOL that was good! THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU TOO!**

**Namie-chan167- Thank you for your kind review as well, I'm so glad you enjoy reading this. I agree with you about Shizuo being a jerk for saying that women were better. Things may go a little down hill from here but hopefully Shizuo will suffer too!**

**Hehehe really guys, thank you so much. Now this one may have you hate Shizuo even more, but bare with me!**

...

...

...

The door flew open, and behind the damaged rubble stood a panting, slightly disheveled, and drop dead gorgeous beast inside the doorway of his bedroom; his private domain. What did it matter now? It was too late for trivial thinking. The monster has arrived and there was no escaping it. Not knowing what else to do, Izaya stood motionless, his lips trembled watching as the blazing charcoal eyes of his captor burned into his own wide crimson eyes. He was at a loss for words.

Seeing Shizuo again after so long took his breath away. He couldn't breath.

What now?

...

Standing face to face with the most dangerous man alive, Izaya shuddered in malcontent. It strangled him to know that molten gaze was burning right through him, scrutinizing him, haunting him and making him want to shy away.

It was like nothing he's ever felt before. He had to look away to break the dense connection.

Feeling the stillness rise, Izaya bit the inside of his cheek nervously to distract himself. It was suffocating how void between them had his chest constricting, leaving him unable to speak. To make matters worse, he was frozen in place. He couldn't run away even if he wanted to, that brute was just as quick as he was.

Well fuck...

Looking back into those deadly eyes, that's when he had come to a conclusion. That this moment could possibly be his last. For once he was the one at an disadvantage. He had mistakenly let his guard down, allowing Shizuo the ability capture and trap him.

He had finally fallen. How unexpected, that brute succeeded in overcoming his expectations.

What could he possibly do now?

Taking a deep shaky breath and several moments to collect his thoughts, Izaya closed his tired eyes and gripped the material over his thundering heart. The beating organ thumped so fast that it ached, but in a good way he guessed. The pain was a reminder of who he ached for.

With a deep sigh, the raven lowered his head and noted how quite it really was, the stillness heightening his senses. He listened as the droplets of heavy rain fell ruthlessly upon the high roof top, though sadly it did nothing to block out the loud erratic pounding of his heart vibrating through his ears nor the deep and ragged sounds of Shizuo's breathing.

It didn't make sense then and sure as hell didn't make sense now, but even after all they've been through, Izaya still wanted nothing more than to capture that beautiful creature and lock him away forever, that way they could be together for eternity. It was true. That damn brute was the only thing he could ever think about, clouding his mind. That cursed and forbidden name was the only thing he worshiped. Though Shizuo had forsaken him, deep down he chanted the over and over again.

'Shizuo...Shizuo...Shizuo...'

"Izaya..."

The soft whisper caught the raven off guard. He flinched at the unexpected sound and turned his head away. He didn't know why but he felt his eyes watering. No way! He can't be with pathetic, please no! He told himself he wouldn't shed anymore tears, he mustn't cry in front of this man.

Opening and closing his mouth, Izaya tried to speak, but no words would come out. He still couldn't find his voice. Than damn bastard. Shizuo has literally taken everything from him.

Keeping his head down, Izaya bravely turned his eyes up, to study the brute through long lashes. He watched as Shizuo shifted his posture, that tall form now standing to it's full height. His stomach clenched in anticipation as he watched the blonde brush his hands through his wet hair before bring his hands down to the buttons of his soaked shirt, carefully unbuttoning it one by one.

Izaya tensed, his eyes widening in astonishment. He didn't notice the way Shizuo slowly edged his way closer.

Oh how he wanted him, wishing to speak that precious yet damned name out loud. Izaya wished he could just swallow his fears, put his heart out on display and confess his desires, but becoming consumed with the fear of rejection, he didn't dare. He didn't want to feel any lesser than he already did. Knowing Shizuo, that bastard would only crush him even more. He would use him, carelessly stomp on his heart and walk over his bloody corpse with a victorious smile.

It was sad, but true. He was sure of it.

Biting his lip to disguise his distress, Izaya softly whimpered at the thought. He honestly didn't know what was worse, the fact that Shizuo never desired him or the fact that he desired Shizuo. It was just too excruciating. Was this torment ever going to end? Life has never been so kind to begin with, so why would it change now? Praying was for the naive. Falling to your knees in prayer was useless when 'God' never answers to begin with.

Swallowing another lump in his throat, Izaya forced his dull crimson eyes to travel up and connect with his intruders dark orbs. Biting his lit nervously, the smaller male tried to fight the blush creeping upon his cheeks. That solid intensified gaze was making his skin crawl with goosebumps. What was that brute thinking about right now?

Shizuo narrowed his dark eyes, his body tensing while large hands fell to his sides and clenching in tight fists. Baring his teeth, the blonde stepped forward and scrunched his nose in disgust. Something wasn't right, something about the damn flea was definitely off and he didn't like.

It was pissing him off.

.

Noticing the change his the others demeanor, Izaya nervously took a step back. His crimson eyes widening in fear as those deadly and dangerous orbs clashed with his own, the depths inside stained with sanguinary colors; the same colors that tainted his pale skin just moments ago. It was as if Shizuo could see right through him, those shady eyes silently accusing him.

'What is he thinking right now? Shizu-chan why do you look at me like that...?"

Could it be? Was is possible for that monster be able to smell the foul scent that lingered? Like the pitiful creature he's become, Izaya could feel cold body began to tremble with fear. 'No! No! Shizuo can't know, he can't...'

Like a bullet to the head, realization struck him hard. For the first time Izaya was admitting fear. Not now he was helpless and he feared nothing more than Shizuo coming to learn that he was the culprit of an unspeakable horror. If Shizuo were to question him, he had no choice but to mask it. Shizuo mustn't know! To save his own dignity, no matter the cost, Shizuo must not know about his venomous jealously; the wicked kind of jealously that led to bloodshed.

No...please no...

Tangling his hands into his dark locks, Izaya turned his head to shun his face away. He could feel his knees threatening to cave in. Weakness once again consumed him, opening it's mouth and swallowing him whole; his body was on the verge of giving out and collapsing to the ground.

'Damn it! Why Shizu-chan? Why do you have to look at me like that?' He couldn't even think straight. It was bad enough that he's been questioning himself more often as of late and having Shizuo interfere by presenting him with his presence surely didn't help the situation either. It was appalling! He couldn't even function properly for Christs sake, and as long as he were within a 10 foot radius of the damn brute his brain was completely multifunctional. It was like someone had hit the power button and his body was shutting down.

Ugh how pathetic.

Backing away slowly, Izaya watched with fear as Shizuo stepped closer. Refusing to look him in the eye, Izaya turned his head down as he continued to distant himself form the brute. It didn't even take three seconds before Izaya's backside made contact with the wall behind him. His breath hitched knowing he had come to a dead end.

Keeping his head down, he could feel his heart pounding against his chest, watching as Shizuo's shadow crept closer and closer, soon looming dangerously over him. Refusing to look up at the hovering beast, Izaya held his head down struggling at keeping his body under control. He was scared and shaking uncontrollably. He wouldn't admit out loud, but fuck, was he terrified right now.

Form the corner of his eye, Izaya noticed the larger male's hand up come up over his head. Clenching his eyes shut, Izaya held back a whimper while shamely shielding his face with his bangs. Grasping the wall behind him, the informant's breath hitched as he waited for the deadly punch. If bashing his brains in made Shizuo happy than so be it. He'd even swim to the bottom depths of the ocean for this bastard...

Breathing heavily, Izaya listened the way Shizuo moved before him, his masculine smell drowning him. Though he was petrified, he anxiously waited for jaw breaking impact. Gasping softly, Izaya tensed when he felt a large hand on softly brush the back of his neck and into his black hair, tugging him gently. The raven sighed when he felt the warmth of Shizuo's wet body tower dangerously over his. He could feel the hot breath caressing the cold pale skin of his cheek. It was impossible to fight the shivers raking through his quivering body.

"Izaya..." He could feel the brute lean over and rest his head against the wall over his shoulder. "Izaya...why wont you look at me?" That masculine voice was so gentle; so deep and kind.

'Because I'm afraid...' he answered silently.

Tilting his head in confusion, Izaya was surprised when Shizuo touched him so delicately. Wha-? Why wasn't Shizuo hitting him? Didn't Shizuo want him dead? He could have sworn that by the look in those deadly eyes, that Shizuo was pissed.

Frozen in place, Izaya could feel Shizuo sigh and lean down to place a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth. "Izaya." he repeated with more sternly. Thin lips trembled at the beautiful sound. How could he refuse the one he desired most?

Giving into the wicked temptation, the raven licked his pink lips and carefully turned his face up towards the handsome face. His wide eyes studied the others pale complexion before moving to the half lidded eyes above and getting lost in the deep mysterious depths framed by golden locks of hair. God he looked so good. Izaya almost weeped at the perfection.

Che was was much weaker than he thought.

Clenching his fists tightly, the brunette had to fight the sudden the urge to touch that smooth skin. It was hard, but he really didn't want to give Shizuo the wrong idea. He was still pissed about their last encounter after all. That protozoan better not think he can sweet talk his way out of this.

Turning his head away in shame, Izaya softly placed a small hand on the broad chest before him. Shizuo was trying to trick him, there was no way he'd actually care about how Izaya felt. It was a shame really, that someone as gorgeous as this could be so hideous on the inside. Though what did it matter to him anyway? He was already permanently attached to this brute whether he liked it or not. The heart wants what the heart wants, and the beating organ that easily controlled his life has already made it's claim.

How unfortunate.

"Izaya, look at me. Why are you avoiding me?"

Refusing to look back up, Izaya lightly shrugged his shoulders and chewed on his lower lip. Feeling a large hand under his chin, the raven closed his eyes as his face was forced to look up at him. Shizuo's other hand was placed up against the wall, trapping the brunette in.

"Damn it Izaya, why are you being so damn stubborn?"

Trembling lightly, the raven tried to turn away, but Shizuo wouldn't allow him to move. No, he can't do it, he didn't want to look up at the gorgeous face again. He didn't want to face Shizuo in this state, he didn't...it would only make his heart ache even more.

Feeling the grip on his chin tighten, the informant whimpered right when he felt a set of warm lips press firmly against his, the warm and soft tongue tracing his lips tenderly. Parting his lips to release a quiet sigh, Shizuo slipped his tongue through the tender flesh and moaned at the taste. The familiar flavor has him wanting to claim his raven right here and now. Flinching at the contact, Izaya closed his parted lips and regretfully pulled away. Opening his crimson eyes, he looked up to stare deep into the charcoal one's above him.

"Shizu...chan...?" God he felt pathetic, choking the others the name like that. He didn't know what else to say. Though he swore to banish the name from his lips, they regretfully slipped free without his consent. Why was this happening? Was this another cruel joke Shizuo was playing on him?

If so he didn't think his heart to handle anymore...

Sighing softly, Izaya regretfully moaned softy when he felt Shizuo's ice cold lips trailing down his pale neck. Every once in a while he could feel that blazing hot tongue caress the beating pulse beneath his jaw, earning a weak sigh each time. Titling his head back, Izaya parted his lips, his breath hitching as Shizuo released his grip on the smaller chin and placed both hands against the wall on either side of Izaya's head so that he was trapped between two powerful arms.

Bringing his cold lips to up to the ravens temple, Shizuo exhaled sharply. Something definitely wasn't right. Pulling back lightly, the tall blonde glanced down at the smaller raven and narrowed his eyes while sniffing the air around him.

"Izaya you reek. What is that awful smell?"

Blushing lightly, Izaya shyly brushed his fingers through his damp hair. Damn that monster and his freakishly good sense of smell. "I just showered Shizu-chan, I'm sorry if I still smell bad to you."

Growling low, Shizuo leaned over and sniffed the inky black hair. Sure he smelled like sweet coconuts, but beneath that pleasant aroma he could also smell coppery scent of blood. Was Izaya hurt? Was he bleeding moments ago?

Breaking him from his thoughts, Izaya firmly pushed on his shoulders and struggled to slip away from the brute. This had already gone too far, he was already about to grant that bastards wish if he were to simply ask.

"I don't know why you're here Shizu-chan, but I think you should go. If you're here to kill me than do it already, if you're here for sex you can forget about it."

The fuck? Growling low, Shizuo stepped back and glared at the smaller male. "The hell flea? You go missing for days, you stop coming over, you keep avoiding me. I don't get it! Ever since you saw me and Kara that night, you've been acting like a damn woman with fucking mood swings. I don't see why you're so upset about it, you knew about the relationship I had with her, it's not like it was a secret. Besides, were not even dating so I don't why it bothers you so damn much."

Izaya narrowed his eyes and tightly balled his fists. Shizuo did not just fucking say that. Never in his life has he wanted to hit that protozoan as bad as he did now. He was so pissed right now! That damn bastard! How dare he say such things!? Of course that idiot was too stupid to see how much Izaya truly desired him. That damn brute was oblivious to the fact that the informant was suffering simply because he didn't care to notice.

Crossing his arms with a hiss, Izaya stood tall and turned his back to the other. "You know Shizu-chan, if fucking women is your kind of thing then so be it, I will no longer stand in your way. I preferably choose men, and not just any man. I have standards you know, unlike some brainless protozoan I know. If you want sex so bad, then go back to that slut of yours. We're done. I'm not gonna waste my time any longer."

Shizuo's eye's widened in shock before taking a staggered step backward. Was he for real? Izaya was that pissed about his relationship with Kara that he was willing to desecrate what they had? No...He wouldn't allow it. He was here now, and he would not allow Izaya to slip away again.

Not this time.

Growling under his breath, Shizuo stepped forward and once again caged the raven between his strong arms. Moving his body inward, the blonde pressed his larger frame against the small backside of Izaya's slender body. Lowering his head down, his golden hair traced the pale skin of Izaya's long neck as he softly placed his lips against the reddening ear, his warm breath caressing the tender skin.

Chuckling lightly, the blonde smiled in triumph admiring the way the petite body trembled with desire. He loved the way Izaya's body reacted to his touch. That little flea couldn't deny he wanted him even if he tried, Shizuo would know that he was lying. Poor Izaya, that sexy and mouth watering body of his was too honest. Heh, lucky him.

Licking the cool flesh between Izaya's neck and shoulder, Shizuo chuckled as he pressed himself harder against the smaller body while he whispered the words that Izaya wanted to hear. Words that would make surrender. "I have officially disposed of that woman. I no longer desire that pretty body of hers...I do however, desire something more..."

"...Izaya..." he whispered nuzzling the dark sweet scented locks of hair.

Izaya closed his eyes and bit his lip. Having that hard body pressed so intimately against his own, he couldn't help but think how magnificent his his named sounded with that deep melodic voice. The delicate sound had his blood searing beneath his veins and flying south to his already hardening length. Moaning softly, the raven arched his back when he felt the others long and hot manhood pressing against his lower back.

Shizuo was horny. Fuck this was the exact thing he wanted to avoid. Damn it Shizuo, he did this every time. Izaya hated absolutely hated it, but it was insane how easily the blonde could make him bend to his will. Try as he might, he couldn't help the tiny mewl that spilled from his parted lips, his damn body trembling as the others hot teasing breath tickled his pale skin.

"..." He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. Shit, there he goes again, having his breath taken away from the only man he desired. He didn't want to admit it, but Shizuo was a master at seduction.

Taking the others silence as his cue, Shizuo groaned and latched his teeth to the smooth skin of Izaya neck and suckled gently. He smiled when Izaya gasped and accidentally pressed his bottom harder upon his throbbing length. Mmm so good. This is wast he missed. Now that he had the chance to claim this sexy little devil, he was going to swoop down and sweep Izaya off his feet. Literally. Suckling harder, Shizuo trailed his large hands up the ravens slim thighs, along his sides and over his small behind.

"Hnnn...Shizu..."

"You want this Izaya, say you want me. Say you want me to fuck you nice and hard..."

Izaya groaned moved to rest his heated face against the cool wall before him. He did want this, dear god he wanted Shizuo to ride him with his legs thrown over those broad shoulders, but it was wrong. He wouldn't allow himself to give into temptation. He knew that once this was all over, Shizuo would go back to his cold self and treat him unkindly. He didn't want that, he didn't want to leave himself in a vulnerable position for Shizuo so to take advantage of. There was no way he would be able to handle it. To fall even more in love with that brute would only prolong his suffering. If he made this mistake again, it would only shatter his heart for good.

"Shizuo...we can't, please we can't do this."

Feeling the angry nip upon his neck, Izaya whined when Shizuo wrapped his fingers around his small waist, gripping painfully tight.

"Damn it Izaya, don't you fucking do this to me. I want you and I know you want me. Let me feel you..."

Afraid to speak, Izaya allowed Shizuo to continue ravishing his neck with fiery kisses. He knew that that brute was trying to mar his skin, it was his way of saying 'Fuck off, he's mine'. Closing his eyes, the raven struggled to pull himself away from the taller male. Those damn hands refused to let go.

"Please, baby...let me have you. I really want to feel you...I've missed this..."

'No, don't do this Shizu-chan. Please don't try to guilt trip me.'

Managing to turn his body around with the strong grip, the raven rested his backside against the cold wall and leaned his head back to look up at the lovely charcoal eyes; the beautiful eyes he's grown to love.

"Shizu...please, we can't do this. I can't do this."

Growling low, the angry blonde gripped the raven's thin wrists trapping him in place. His darker than black eyes glowing with fury. "Damn it Izaya, what's gotten into you? You've never denied me before, why now?"

Biting his lip nervously, Izaya lowered his head in shame, breaking the connection between them. He didn't want Shizuo to look him in the eye, he didn't want the brute to see the hidden emotions, to see the true feeling he held for him.

Shizuo didn't give the raven a chance to answer before his grip on the small wrists tightened as he leaned down to capture the delicate pink lips in a bruising kiss. Whimpering softly, Izaya gasped for breath and struggled to pull away as Shizuo abused his mouth, his strong tongue roaming freely passed his teeth. It hurt, Shizuo was hurting him. Closing his eyes in fear, Izaya struggled to fight the tears that threatened to fall. He could taste blood; his blood. Shizuo was kissing him so hard that those sharp teeth sank into his tender flesh and brutally broke the skin. He couldn't breath. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't even pull back enough to gasp for air.

"Hnn..nnn...Shizu.." The words were broken, he couldn't even speak.

With a loud snarl, Shizuo pulled away yanking the smaller body with him and carelessly tossed the shaky body upon the wide king sized bed. Moving quickly, the furious blonde yanked off his damp button up shirt and tossed it aside before crawling his way to the squirming informant. Seeing dark and hungry eyes burning with lust, Izaya gasped in fear, somehow managing to turn his body around and quickly move away from the wild beast above him. But before he could leap from the bed and away from devil, the angry blonde growled and reached out grabbing the flea's ankle in a bone breaking grip and yanked the frail body back towards him.

"Don't think you can out run me, you damn flea. You're not going anywhere."

Izaya hissed in discomfort and whined at the sharp stab of pain shot through his leg. Shit that hurt! It wouldn't surprise him if Shizuo had managed to break his ankle. He couldn't even move it without feeling like needles piercing through the bone. Looking up at the hovering beast with wide eyes, Izaya came to the realization that with a hurt ankle that he had zero chance of escaping this. Shizuo was going to use him. Shizuo was going to...NO! Overcome by fear, the raven thrashed around and struggled to move away from the powerful hold. "Stop! Get off me Shizu-chan! Please stop...!"

Ignoring the others pleas, Shizuo leaned down and latched his teeth onto the delicious skin of Izaya's slender neck. He was too far gone to stop now. Sinking his teeth into the smooth flesh, he smiled when the sound of tearing flesh flowed through his ears. To make the sensation even better, he shivered in delight as Izaya whined pitifully continuously begging him to stop.

Lapping at the broken skin, Shizuo groaned and slowly pulled back to admire the panting raven beneath him. Shifting his weight to straddle the smaller body, Shizuo relished in the way Izaya's gorgeous ruby eye's widen in fear, those lovely blood tinted orbs brimmed with unshed tears.

"Beautiful..." he whispered leaning down to taste those bloody lips once again. The informant had a distinct flavor about him. He only wanted to consume him. Izaya closed his eyes as Shizuo licked his sore lips, he stubbornly sealed his mouth shut refusing to give Shizuo the satisfaction of giving in.

"Tell me Izaya, tell me you want this...I know you want me to fuck you...your body never lies." he whispered low, reaching down the cup the hardened length below.

Keeping his mouth sewed shut, Izaya continue to whimper softly refusing to answer. Why was Shizuo doing this? He could feel his heart beating so hard that it hurt. He was terrified. It scared the shit out of him to think that the man he loved would do this to him. This wasn't right! This was so unlike Shizuo, he wouldn't actually force Izaya to do this, would he?

With a new wave of hysteria, Izaya shot his arms out and struggled to fight back. It was so hard to move with that heavy body holding him down and unfortunately for him, the more he fought the quicker he was loosing stamina.

"Stop fighting me you bastard. Keep struggling and I'll break both your wrist."

Falling limp, Izaya's eye's widened in shock. Did Shizuo just threaten to hurt him? Was he really so heartless? Was he really going to...?

"...Shizu...please...don't do this..."

Ignoring his plea, Shizuo groaned and gripped the the others wrists with both hands and pinned them against the bed and over his head before diving down to kiss and taste the bloody lips below. Izaya was so hard to resist. That sexy body needed him just as much as he needed it. Moving back slightly, Shizuo dropped his head among the soft pillow just under the ravens head and panted breathlessly into the flushed ear. "Fuck Izaya, you have no idea what you're doing to me. I know you want this just as much as I do, let me have you. I need to feel you, I need to be inside you..."

Izaya turned his head away. He couldn't look into those eyes anymore. He didn't want to see his frightened reflection in the eye's of the man he loved.

Moving slowly, Shizuo reached down and gripped the waistband of Izaya's sleep pants before sliding them down his long and slender legs. Licking his lips with delight, Shizuo sighed contently and nuzzled the bare skin in his wake. Turning his head against the cool skin, Shizuo trailed his nose up the smooth skin of the ravens thigh while inhaling his sweet aroma. Placing a tender kiss upon the rosy tender head of Izaya's aching length, Izaya whined as Shizuo leaned up and towered dangerously over the smaller male. Smiling lightly, the blonde leaned down to shower the beautiful face of his 'lover' with gentle kisses.

"Mmm Izaya...I'm going to fuck you so good, you'll be screaming for more. Just you wait..."

Finally giving in, Izaya only nodded and turned his head away in shame. There was no stopping it.

Unable to fight the tears the threatened to fall, Izaya closed his eyes to block out the world around him. The hot tears flowed over his flushed cheeks, burning the skin in it's wake. He couldn't fight this...Shizuo was in full control and it scared him beyond apprehension.

Izaya body tensed as he felt Shizuo press his body against him.

With no energy to fight back, his body laid helpless, trapped beneath the most dangerous man alive; just like everything else he had once owned, his body was now being taken away from him by Shizuo himself. There was absolutely nothing he could do to save himself.

Praying was for the naive. If God has forsaken him, then why not return the favor.

'Shizu-chan...I somehow always believed that you knew...I loved you...'

'...Could it be that he was trying to tarnish that love...?'

'Shizuo...'

...

...

**And just when we though Shizuo was starting to see the light?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Yea so, this chapter kinda sucks. Idk I'm having a hard time putting my ideas on paper...sigh**

**Let me know what you think.! PLEASE!**

**AiAime7- Noooooo don't die! I'm soooo sorry I didn't mean to overwhelm you with feels! Please stay with me! I need all my fans, and I would hate to be the one who makes them disappear! I love your reviews!**

**Ki2323-that is really weird that the alert took days to show up, maybe it's just me. I don't tend to bring good luck anywhere. Perhaps the site just knows and is just teasing us hahaha and thank you so much for your review! I know isn't Shizuo such an ass? If the last one upset you than this one will may hurt even more. Just bare with me though, I have it planned out in my head. Shizuo will remain unhappy. Trust me!**

**.52-thank you as well for you kind reviews. If you really want to kill shizuo I'll let you haha he does deserve it after all!**

**WaxWan-Wow idk how you do it but you saw right through me LOL and you are very correct, I am more of a Shizuo fan but that doesn't mean I don't like Izaya either. I love them both! My morbid brain just likes to write sad stories and making Izaya suffer sometimes just makes him the most adorable UKE! AHHHH SHIZAYA FOREVER! Oh and I'll promise to update at quick as possible! Not the shinra mode! please no! LOL that really made me laugh though! Thank you once again for your lovely review!**

**And now the moment you've all been waiting for. Just a little heads up, it the last chapter really made you sad, than this one will really make you sad.**

**Again just bare with me!**

**ENJOY!**

...

...

'Was it finally over...?'

'Please no more...'

'Please...'

'With nothing left to give, my wounded heart has been overcome with infestation. I was unfixable. There was nothing left of me...I had no other choice, but to...''

...

Breaking his daunting thoughts, Izaya flinched as a large hand touched the top his head.

"Izaya..."

The brunette tensed, his skin crawling with unease when he felt the long and noxious fingers of his captor gently raking through his ravenous hair; softly brushing the sweaty locks from his emotionless face. He didn't even bother acknowledging the brute when he called his name.

Sniffling quietly, the smaller male swallowed hopelessly as his bony hands weakly clutched the silk blankets, cocooning his naked body tighter.

With his head laying-reluctantly- in the brute's naked lap, his body trembled with angst as he caught sight of Shizuo's handsome smile looking down at him from the corner of his eye. Turning his head away, Izaya refused to look up into those deep pools of sorrel that once captivated him. He was afraid to face those dark gorgeous eyes. The same murky eyes that he regretfully gazed upon while being misused, forever changed by the one man he desperately loved.

He could still remember seeing his mirror image reflecting within those cloudy orbs.

Refusing to look up, Izaya clenched his fingers as the blonde continued to lightly brush his fingers through the dark and beautifully disheveled hair.

Closing his sore eyes, Izaya sighed, fighting the temptation of nuzzling against the warm hand as he unconsciously curled his body inward. A dull ache lingered, making his head throb in pain. He was so exhausted. Try as he might, it was impossible to erase the sinful acts that took place moments ago. The frightening images haunted him still, replaying over and over again. There was no stopping it. It was like an incurable disease; consuming you until you finally perish.

His Shizuo, his favorite addiction, his first love... had ripped out his heart more than once and succeeded in crushing him completely, and fuck did it hurt. Not physically, but emotionally the sting in his chest burned and it was unlike anything he's ever felt before. It left him scarred for life.

Shizuo really was a monster. And to think it only took crossing the line for him to finally accept the cold fact.

'Shame on me for having been fooled more than once.' There were so many signs, yet he stubbornly refused to listen. 'Maybe I'm the one to blame...'

No! He didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to admit to falling victim to weakness.

'No...'

Turning his head down and away from the others powerful gaze, a soft and wispy hiccup escaped his bruised lips. Wishing that he could put his noisy thoughts on mute, Izaya greatly longed to close his tired eyes and fall asleep. He wanted to escape this bleak reality. He wanted to dream about a world where Shizuo truly did love him.

Wrapping his arms tighter around his own body, Izaya slowed his breathing, trying to keep from hyperventilating. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried with all his might to block out his current surroundings, but knowing full well that 'he' was still here, Izaya had a very hard time unwinding. That heinous man all around him. The musky and masculine smell radiating off that golden taut skin had his head spinning.

A low hiss escaped his lips as he slowly pulled his knees tighter against him. Every move he made had his body aching. Just great, another constant reminder of the ungodly act that took place between two men. Though Shizuo wasn't as rough as the raven expected, it still hurt that he was stripped of control. It was a no brainer. When it came to physical strength, Shizuo was well endowed and he didn't have a chance.

Why was life so cruel to him?

Laying helplessly in the lap of the blonde monster, even after what had happened, even with those large hands caressing his damp hair, he lacked the strength to move; lacking the will to fight back. His pride had diminished long ago. Shizuo had single handedly knocked him off his feet.

Izaya Orihara, the self proclaimed god, defeated by the legendary man.

What did it matter anymore?

Aside from the throbbing ache wallowing between his bruised thighs, having Shizuo act as if nothing atrocious had even happened moments ago was an even greater fault. Even after being taken twice against his will, the brute had carelessly laid back wearing a lop sided smile while pulling the raven against him. Even without his consent, the damn bastard by welcomed himself the freedom to stay.

He wished that caveman would just leave already.

Struggling to fight the tremors wracking his body, Izaya regretfully welcomed the warm and gentle hand tracing his bare skin covered in dark possessive hickeys. Though his skin crawled with goosebumps as the unwanted touch, it was knowingly the closest he'd ever get to compassion. It didn't make any sense. It was so unlike Shizuo to show gentleness so why was he being so touchy all of the sudden?

It was unusual and though the informant broker had longed for moments like this, it no longer cured the permanent ache burrowed deep within his chest.

He was ruined. To be ruined by the only one you gladly give your life for? Now isn't that rich.

Licking his dry lips, Izaya noted that his mouth felt parched. His endless tears soon ran dry, he no longer had any more tears left to shed.

Coughing several times, Izaya groaned as his stomach twisted in distress. His body was feeling sick; dehydrated. Nausea that wracked his body. Trembling pale hands weakly clutched at Shizuo's bare thigh. Water! His body thirsted for water, but he didn't dare move and asking the brute to fetch him a tall glass would only seem pitiful. Though somehow, his thoughts were heard.

"Izaya, are you feeling ok?"

Refusing to look up, Izaya nodded weakly. He didn't have the energy to speak.

"You look pale, do you need a drink of water?"

He didn't answer. He remained motionless not wanting anything from the brute. Feeling a brush of a hand and a brief soft kiss graze the top of his head, he tensed as he felt Shizuo shift beneath his head, the warm body carefully moving away.

"Stay here, I'll go get you some water." Feeling another kiss on his temple, Izaya's half lidded eyes watched as Shizuo's nude and attractive form disappeared from sight. Stupid Shizu-chan. Forcing his body to roll over, Izaya huffed as his sore muscles screamed in protest. Damn was he worn out. He's never felt to exhausted in his entire life.

Turning his empty eyes to the wide window across the room, the raven sighed as he watched the lightening flash dangerously across the dark sky. That's when the realization had dawned him. An irritated sigh slipped passed his achy lips. It was very late and it the pouring rain had ceased to stop. It was unfortunate, but maybe that's why the damn brute was still there.

Another reason why he hated the rain so much. It was made a change in plan.

Eying the rain still, he wished that Shizuo would just leave. What did it matter if it was cold or that it was storming heavily, he only wanted to be left alone with his hostile thinking. To wallow within the animosity towards himself.

Seconds later, Izaya didn't take notice when Shizuo returned with a large glass of ice cold water. He flinched as he felt the bed dip behind him, a large hand gently brushing his bangs away from his tear stained face. That damn bastard even had the nerve to trail feather light kisses along his jaw.

"Izaya, come here. I brought you some water."

With his eyes closed, Izaya debated whether he was desperate enough to take the water Shizuo had kindly fetched for him. He didn't want it of course, but damn was he thirsty. Maybe he could give in this once, his throat was practically clawing at him. Before he could move, the smaller male lightly whimpered as he felt those long fingers wrap around his chin and forcing his head, so that he could look up into those brown eyes. His own eyes widened in fear at the sudden close proximity between their faces.

"Izaayyyaaa-kuunnn, you better drink some water before I make you drink it. You're as pale as a dead man."

'And whose fault is that?' Izaya thought narrowing his eyes at the scowling brute. Shifting his body around, the raven didn't have much time to react when he suddenly felt a pair of ice cold lips crash against his own. Gasping lightly, he nearly choked when he felt the blonde willingly open his mouth allowing the cold water to spill past his wet lips and into the parted ones below. Feeling the blonde groan against him, Izaya clenched his eyes and balled his fists as he felt that long and skilled tongue roam expertly around his mouth, wetting every corner of that parched mouth.

Pulling back and gasping for air, Izaya unconsciously licked his lips. His dark eyes staring into the hungry one's above him. He trembled at the near sight of Shizuo's moist lips, his naked groin hardening against his will. No! Damn it, this can't be happening! He didn't want this. Shizuo had taken everything from him and now that he felt like a caged animal, he no longer wanted Shizuo the way he did before. So why was it that his body still betrayed him?

Watching with wide eyes, Izaya caught a glimpse of that radiant smile before those lips once again came crashing against his own as more cool liquid seeped from between the delicious lips and down into his hoarse throat. Hearing another deep rumble erupting from the blondes chest, Izaya whimpered struggling to move away as the blonde moved his body forward, towering over the helpless raven. Bringing his face down to the long elegant neck, Shizuo smiled and licked the marred skin before dropping his hips against Izaya's, moaning his name and nipping the tender the fleshy tender lobe.

Izaya couldn't help the tiny mewl that escaped his mouth as Shizuo's long and hard shaft bumped against his own. God it felt so good. 'No, focus Izaya. Focus!' Pushing against Shizuo's massive shoulders, Izaya wiggled frantically trying desperately to detach the closeness.

"Nnn Shi...zu...p-please...s-stop!"

Shizuo growled, nipping at the bruised lips as he reached down and easily pushed the milky thighs apart. Pulling back to admire the slender body below, Shizuo's breath caught in his throat upon the beautiful and breath taking display lying helplessly beneath him. Izaya's lips were swollen from rough kisses, the bruised flesh parting with soft gasps, the marred flat chest heaving breathlessly, smooth long legs spread before him welcoming him full access to that red tinted hidden entrance.

Izaya was perfect. He wanted to claim that sexy little flea for himself.

"God damn Izaya, you're so fucking sexy-" Moving forward to latch his lips around the tiny pink mound upon the flat chest he suckled and teased the the sensitive bud. "-God I just wanna take you again..." Shizuo glided his calloused hands over the the ravens small sides"...and again..." over the silky thighs before planting them below Izaya's parted knees "...and again..." Gripping the knees tighter, the bodyguard thrusted his hips forward to emphasize his point. Izaya mewled in pleasure and pain as the massive length brushed over his sore opening.

Catching his lower lip between his teeth, Izaya turned his flaming face away in shame. He didn't want Shizuo so see the way he was effecting him. His weak arms still pushed as Shizuo's shoulder, struggling to shove him away. Though he's been shamelessly spread out beneath that devilicious man plenty of times in the past, for some reason, this time he felt different. He felt more exposed. He felt as if it were his first time and it had him trembling with fear.

No, this was wrong. He didn't want this. Not again, please not again. Panic arose as the raved pushed at those wide shoulders even harder.

"Shi..zu-chan...please d-don't! Please! My b-body can't...take no m-more!"

Shizuo paused with a grimace and studied the panting raven beneath him, soaking in the words. He tch'd as he caved in and buried his nose within those glorious locks of silky hair. Delicious. He really fancied the way the flea smelled, it had an arousing flavor to it.

Gripping the others thighs, Shizuo groaned as he rubbed his aching length against Izaya's groin. The flea says he doesn't want this, but fuck he was fucking horny and his-wanting to fuck Izaya-radar was on the verge of shifting to overdrive. Pulling back once again to admire the lithe body once more, Shizuo licked his lips eagerly. His pupils dilated, over running the brown irises. He was at his limit and if Izaya didn't want him to do anything rash, he needed to make his claim and quickly bury himself deep within that tight ass.

'Such a sexy little flea...'

Izaya blinked his eyes as he watched Shizuo remain motionless above him. Those darker than black eyes bore into his own. Growing nervous, the ravens heart began to flutter with hope. Was Shizuo finally taking pity on him?

Believing that debt collector was going to call it quits, Izaya wore a very tiny smile as he weakly reached up to cup the warm cheek.

"Shizu..."

Dark eyes flashed dangerously.

Reaching up to grab the informants thin wrist, Shizuo grunted as he tossed the raven's arms over his broad shoulders and rolled them over so the Izaya's thighs straddled his bare waist. Izaya gasped, his ruby eyes widening in confusion as Shizuo gripped his this waist and forcing the smaller body to move against him.

"Hnn Shizu?!...w-what are you...doing? I thought-!"

Shizuo sat up, smashing his lips against the protesting, making sure Izaya kept his arms wrapped securely around his neck before lifting the raven up and positioning his small flushed entrance over his throbbing need. His hot breath burned the tender flesh of the ravens blushing ear.

"You're teasing me Izaya. You're telling me no, but I bet this is all part of your dirty little trick. I know how much you like grinding my gears, and so I'm going to gladly return the favor..."

Pressing his lips roughly back against Izaya's red ones, Shizuo groaned while thrusting his hips upward succeeding in breaching the tight opening. Izaya gasped as he latched his teeth on the ex bartenders shoulder. Shizuo chuckled and a slowly pushed Izaya further down his aching cock. "Oh and just a little heads up flea, the more you beg for me to stop...the harder I'll fuck you."

Seeing a gleam flash in those dark eyes, Izaya clenched his eyes whimpered as Shizuo continued to force his way inside his body. His constricting muscles twitching in discomfort. Tightening his grip around the blonds neck, Izaya's bit his lip as his body howled, screaming in protest. He wanted it to stop. God how he wanted this to stop. His body wasn't prepared enough for another round. It hurt so bad! He couldn't' process anything but the blinding heat taking over him. The scorching sensation consumed his body from head to toe. He could barely breath. Tossing his head back in a silent scream, Shizuo smiled trailing his hot tongue over the beating pulse under the ravens slick jaw before finding his way back up to the sensitive ear.

That deep and masculine voice was full of lust. It had Izaya trembling with fear.

"Tell you what flea, say you want this and I'll make sweet love to you. I'll have you shedding tears of joy. I'll hold you close to me, I'll caress your smooth skin and kiss your pretty delicate lips with the most ultimate tenderness..." Rocking his hips teasing slow, Shizuo gripped the ravens waist and held the petite body flushed against his own. "...But, say you don't want this and I'll be as brutal as I want and I know that's not what you want...surely you'll make the right choice." he chuckled suckling lightly at the others dainty shoulder.

Izaya hissed as Shizuo's hard length dug deeper and deeper into his unreadied body, forcing the tight muscles at it's limits. Latching his fingers into the blonde hair, Izaya whined with fret. That fucking bastard! How dare he play such vile games with him?

That damn brute had managed to turn sex into a wicked game and Izaya didn't like it one bit. Because he wasn't the one in control.

Shizuo wanted him to be submissive. He found it very pleasurable in knowing Izaya desired him, but if he refused to save whatever dignity he had left; he would be severely punished. So what was it going to be?

Yanking the blonde hair harder, Izaya choked back a sob as Shizuo repositioned his hips so that the thick and heavily slick rod pierced him even deeper. He had to bite his tongue to fight the needy moans as the blonde occasionally brushed his sweet spot.

He could barely breath as his heart pounded faster and faster by the second.

Burying his face into the others warm neck, Izaya's shoulders trembled. Reaching up to wipe his dry eyes, he wanted to cry. He would if he could, but his eyes have dried out and at this point were no longer able to produce tears.

There was nothing he could do.

Feeling Shizuo's body shifting, his hot breath fanning against the raven's face, Izaya howled in pain as the blonde forced Izaya's small hips to move against him. Faster and faster they moved against each other. It was almost too much to bear. God did it hurt!

"Izaayyaaa, I'm waiting for an answer. Tell me how you want it, baby?" he teased reaching down to brush his fingers teasingly over the red tip of the ravens swollen cock and smearing the leaking substance between his rough fingers. Izaya's body shook uncontrollably and without his consent, his body lurched forward against the thrusting blonde, his body aching to feel more of that teasing touch.

Damn him, damn that bastard to hell!

Swallowing nervously, Izaya opened his eyes and stared at the man-he once thought was the most gorgeous creature alive- their cloudy eyes fixated upon each other. That's wen he realized Shizuo was still waiting for a response.

Izaya lowered his head in regret. Which was he going to choose? Honestly if it were up to him, he'd choose to stop this mess completely, but with Shizuo's arms wrapped securely around his body, he had zero chance of escape. Shizuo was too strong and not to mention his ankle still hurt like hell from before.

Feeling the blonde growl annoyance, Izaya gasped as he was roughly pushed back against the bed. His eyes widening in fear as a tall monster hovered over him, pinning him down. Shit! Shizuo was getting impatient.

"Time's running out you damn flea."

"W-wait!"

Weighing the options in his head, Izaya closed his eyes when he felt Shizuo forcing his legs as far apart as they could go. He was helpless. He was weak. He was broken. It severed his heart to think Shizuo could actually do such a horrendous thing.

'I loved you...Shizu-chan. Why is it that you're trying to corrupt that love? Do you hate that much...?'

Unable to fight back, the informant was left with no other choice. He had to swallow his unwillingness and make a reality, if he really thought about it, it didn't matter what he decided cause either way, having intercourse would with the brute would be painful. There was no winning, cause either way Shizuo would force him.

If they went slow, the gentle pace would hurt emotionally, but if they went at an wildly rough pace, it would hurt more physically. Which one would hurt more? Which one would heal faster? Closing his eyes with a broken sigh, Izaya cursed that wicked man to hell and back.

It was decided.

Turning his head down, Izaya bravely glanced up as the fuming beast. His crimson eyes darkening beneath those long lashes.

"I...don't...want this. I don't want...you...Shizu-chan..."

Shizuo pulled back with wide eyes, his animalistic gaze glowering at the raven below before his dark eyes flashed with furry. That bastard wanted his rough huh? So be it. He was going to make fuck that ass so hard that he was going to make it bleed. Izaya wouldn't be able to walk for weeks.

"So, you've chosen the hard way..."

Leaning over with a loud and frightening snarl, Shizuo painfully flipped the raven over and pinned both hands to the bed over his head. He tried not to groan at the erotic position, that sexy little body was fully exposed him him this way. Struggling to break free, Izaya kicked his feet and whimpered as the bone breaking grip tightened even more around his bruising wrists. This was it, it was either do or die.

Sobbing uncontrollably, the informants body tensed as the felt the beast hover dangerously over him. His aura burning with flames. Those vicious lips breathing heavily in his ear.

"And I thought you were smart, you bastard. Keep in mind that you asked for this. The only thing I wanna hear coming out of that pretty little mouth of yours is your cries more. Get ready..."

Left with no other choice, the brunettes breath hitched as he felt Shizuo's large cock teasing his wet entrance. It wouldn't be long until Shizuo tore right into him, carelessly using his body. The thought alone scared him more than anything he's ever faced.

'Please let this nightmare come to an end...'

Pain blossomed as Shizuo gripped his hips. His silent pleas once again going ignored. Closing his ruby eyes that no longer held that beautiful gleam, Izaya's body fell limp. He had once again surrendered himself to the devil. Murmuring to himself, the damaged male only continued to believe in the only thing he ever believed in.

'Praying was for the naive. If God has forsaken me, then why not return the favor.'

Then he screamed.

...

...

The very next morning, Shizuo groaned as he rolled over in bed. He flinched as his sore muscles throbbed in pain. Damn, why the hell was he so sore?

Blinking the sleep from his eyes, Shizuo lazily scratched his chest as he unconsciously reached out for the slumbering raven next to him. His hands met nothing but cold air. Feeling a empty place beside him, Shizuo quickly sat up in bed and frowned when he noticed the flea was gone.

"What the hell?"

Raking his gaze over the empty space, Shizuo gasped his eyes widening in horror at the sight.

Blood.

Izaya's bed was covered in blood.

"Oh no..."

As panic began to arise, Shizuo took heavy breaths as he roughly ran his hands though his blonde hair. 'What have I done? SHIT! WHAT HAVE I DONE?'

"IZAYA!"

Skimming his horrified gaze around the empty room, he could feel his heart thumping in fear. He couldn't breath. His chest constricted with such regret that he had a hard time standing straight.

'Izaya...I'm so sorry, god I'm so sorry.'

Moving around the wide and bloody sheets, Shizuo frantically began searching for his phone. Finding the device laying careless upon the floor next to his abandoned shoes, Shizuo gasped as he quickly snatched the device and flipped it open. The screen was black indicating that his phone was dead. Just freaking great!

"GOD DAMN IT!" He cursed balling his fists.

With a loud roar, Shizuo threw his phone across the room before getting out of bed, gathering his clothes and dressing with lightening speed. His mind feeling uneasy. He couldn't help be freak out about Izaya's absence. And to think it was because he him...

Damn he really fucked up big time.

'Izaya, god damn it Izaya you better be ok.'

Finding Izaya had instantly become his main priority. He needed to find the flea and fast. He needed to make sure he was ok. First stop; Shinra's house. Izaya was injured pretty badly so it would only make sense that he would stop there.

Swallowing nervously at the horrid memory, Shizuo released a pained groan. Poor Izaya. He had no idea what have come over him. Why didn't Izaya stop him, he knew that Izaya was stronger than that. For Christs sake!

Every time he closed his eyes, the previous night continued to haunt his waking thoughts. He wanted to forget the pain, to forget the pain he's caused, to forget the blood he's spilled and to forget the heart he's damaged.

'...God, Izaya please forgive...Izaya...you were right all along...

...

...I really am a monster...'

Shit shit shit! Pacing back and forth Shizuo continued to insult himself with any disgusting thing he could think of. Damn he was such a dumbass! The only thing he could think about was what was he going to do know? How the hell was he going to be able to fix this? He was almost one hundred percent positive that the flea wouldn't be so forgiving-not that he'd blame him- but damn it he was willing to give it a try. He fall to his knees and beg if he had to. He'd spend the rest of his life making it up to him it he let him.

He knew that he really fucked up big time and right now he was willing to do anything to get that flea back.

He wasn't going to let him go that easily. He was a possessive man after all.

Just as he was about to make his leave, Shizuo stopped when he noticed a neatly piece of paper laying on the nightstand. Was this a joke or something? Shizuo hesitated several seconds before turning his body toward the nightstand. Taking cautious steps closer, his dark brown eyes widened in shock as he noticed the neatly written hand writing.

It was Izaya's.

Swallowing nervously, Shizuo carefully unfolded the letter. He couldn't fight the shiver as specks of blood stained the neatly written letter. Taking a deep breath, Shizuo looked over the words inked in black. Then he began reading.

...

_Shizu-chan,_

_By the time you find this letter, I'll be gone. Now before you jump for joy, I just have a few things I wanted to say before I go._

_Firstly...Heh, no. Why even bother, you wouldn't understand. You never do._

_As much as it pains me to write to you; finding anyway I can to spill a few words to you on paper, I still dont expect you to understand._

_Sometimes I think myself. What am I really trying to gain?_

_Though, I hate to admit that often I'd shed tears in my sleep wondering what is was that made me fall victim to your wicked spell._

_You know, perhaps it was never you to begin with. Maybe it was I who was the confounded one for keeping up this silly facade for so long. I knew the consequences, yet brushed them off to the back of my mind. Ignoring the fact that loving you did nothing but harm me in ways I never imagined._

_Not that you ever knew, you were always so wrapped up in that careless mind of yours. Call me naive, but maybe this desecration between us is a blessing in disguise._

_And so here we are._

_And I'm saying goodbye._

_Keep in mind that when I return-if I ever return-that I will no longer be the same man I used to be. The Izaya you know will be dead._

_Not that you'll miss my absence anyway._

_What does it matter, nothing is of importance anymore._

_The only thing I ever ask of you now it that you don't forget about me. No matter how many lovers are soon to come, please don't forget me._

_Heh, and to think I actually lacked the courage to say this face to face._

_And so once again, I say goodbye to you and to the love I once had for you._

_Farewell, my lost love._

_Yours truly, Izaya O._

_..._

Shizuo was in shock. Unable to move, he watched as the crumbled piece of paper slipped from between his fingers to the ground below. He couldn't believe it.

Izaya was gone...

No...

Izaya was gone...

'What have I done? Oh my god, what have I done?'

Webbed in a moment of despair, Shizuo could feel all his strength leave his body. Falling weakly to his knees, he reached up to grip his hair and tugging painfully before curling over and landing one his elbows.

No...Izaya was gone...Izaya was gone... Izaya was gone...

'What have I done?'

Gripping fistfuls of hair, Shizuo stretched back unable to fight the tears spilling staining his cheeks. He couldn't remember the last time he cried for anyone. 'Izaya...'

With his head facing the sky a loud deafening howl erupted from his tainted lips.

"IIIIIIZZZZZAAAAAYYYYYYAAAAAAA!"

Oh God, what has he done?

...

...

**Don't worry Izaya's not dead, but Shizuo doesn't know that! *whispers* don't tell him, he needs to suffer for what he did.**

**Ehem, anyway. So like I mentioned before, there will only be two more chapters left. Maybe 3 if I can't get it right, but I'm aiming for 2. Also I'll try to update as quick as possible but I have a lot going one right now. I may or may not go out of town for a couple weeks and I may or may not be getting a new job so I just have to wait and see what comes up.**

**But do not fear, I have another story already planned out in my head and I will try posting it as soon as this one it complete. I have a feeling you guys will enjoy this new one I have panned out hehehe I hope so at least!**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT! I LOVE YOU GUYS! *hug***


	7. Chapter 7

**Surprise! I didn't die!**

**Yet. haha.**

**Well, I really hope you guys didn't forget about me nor hate me disappearing for so long. In all honestly I was on the verge of not finishing this story for several reasons, but then I received a lovely message from a fan who's inspired me to continue this piece. (Name will remain unsaid unless given permission to say otherwise)**

**Ughhh I'm such a horrible person for even thinking about abandoning this story. Good story or not, my work should not go unfinished. Now I'm going to be honest, it's still going to take time for my updates but at least you'll know I plan to finish this for sure. I've been so insecure about my work and so busy with personal life that my interest for this was dwindling.**

**But I was saved! YAY!**

**Ok so now to the story. This chapter main seem kind of boring and drawn out mainly cause there's a very small amount of Izaya, but I did try to keep the readers on their toes. It took me awhile to edit all this crap. Sigh.**

**Again forgive guys. I'll try my best!**

**Special thanks to those for reviewing last chapter.**

**-Rin Murasaki (you got me there haha)**

**-Ki2325**

**-NUIIGOLLUM**

**-WaxWan**

**-Zymiko**

**-LovelyDomination**

**-Pevensy9thunder2**

**-PenumbraDoll**

**-Flickering Hope**

**You guys are truly the best!**

**P.s. Listen to 'Still here' by digital daggers. Such a good song! It too helped my inspiration for this as well ^_^**

...

...

...

Rain poured heavily from the black sky, drowning the empty streets with icy water. Not only was it a dark winter night, but the harsh wind was enough to bite your skin. The kind of weather no one was particularly fond of. In fact, any sane person would be a fool be be out in this hellish weather.

And a fool he was.

Unlocking the front door, the tall and drenched male walked inside only to welcomed with a chilling pitch black. It didn't help that his soaked clothes stuck to his skin either, clinging way too uncomfortably against his body.

Wiping the drips of hair from his face, the tired blonde took a moment to kick off his now ruined shoes.

"I'm home..." he mumbled under his breath. A habit of course. Though it was really nothing more that a waste of breath.

It wasn't like anyone would ever be there to greet him anyway. He was a fucking wreck. Why would anyone ever want him? He was a screw up who fucked things up and could never do anything right and because of that, this cruel 'part' of him was born. A part of him he never wanted to be, but learned to accept.

Didn't mean he didn't feel like shit, cause fuck he felt like shit most the time and that very thought alone make his heart twist.

Damn this curse.

And fuck it was cold.

He could feel the discomfort as his skin crawled, the empty dark room beckoning him. Wrapping his arms around his shivering body, everything felt surreal. Gazing into nothing, it felt as the silent dark space surrounding him grew wider using everything in it's power to swallow him whole. The darkness was never ending.

He felt empty; much emptier now that 'he' was gone...

Shit. His breath caught. Damn it. It was happening again. He was loosing focus. Having his mind infested with that bastard caused his caged beating heart to hammer so loud that is rang in his ears and so hard in his chest that it was repeatedly stabbed his ribcage. Possibly even on the verge of breaking through.

It hurt.

'I'm such an idiot, reacting to childishly to that fucking flea!'

Fuck this!

He needed a shower.

Running a hand through his wet tangled hair, Shizuo sighed as he removed his drenched coat before tossing his on the floor carelessly. As frustrating as it was, he was getting used to it. The aching pains in chest had become a normal occurrence. Like a daily routine.

The constant reminder tainted him. At least it was becoming more bearable. He was ok. No. He wanted to believe that he was going to be ok.

He'd never say it out loud, but to think that he was the cause of Izaya's disappearance? It killed him inside. He was a criminal and his guilty conscience was eating him alive. If only he could go back. Maybe only then would he still be here.

Fluttering his lashes, Shizuo blinked the beaded moister from his eyes.

Damn rain.

It has been too damn long since he spoke that haunting name. Truthfully, it scared him. It was like a forbidden fruit, to be remained untouched. It felt delicate in a strange way. It was silly, but he had come to believe that speaking the name out loud would only permanently shatter what was left of his non existent presence.

Crazy huh? Seriously. What did it matter? Not like he had anything left to loose. Taking a deep breath, Shizuo closed his eyes and moved his lips without speaking. Over and over again the name that tormented his peace of mind began to form it's way to his lips until he was whispering, almost breathlessly.

"Izaya..."

Izaya.

Izaya was gone. Izaya wasn't coming back. Izaya. Izaya. Izaya. Only now did it leave a bad taste in his mouth.

Useless.

Lowering his head in defeat, strong hands began to fist at his sides. Blunt nails digging painfully into his palms. It was useless. Everything. All of it. No matter how much he tried, moving forward was impossible. Even with that rat bastard gone from his life, that ruby-eyed angel face still managed to stand in his way.

It was literally taking over him. Because of that, he couldn't sleep at night and it pissed him off.

Counting down the days, waiting for some kind of miracle, he calculated that it's been exactly six weeks and two days since Izaya Orihara's disappearance. Even though it was ridiculous and vividly impossible, Shizuo secretly hoped by some very slim chance that he would one day come home and be graced to find that cocky ass raven haired male laying graciously across his bed, in all his glory, wearing that dirty smirk while chanting the words 'Ha! Fooled you, I never left you protozoan.'

Dear God. He missed that bastard. He'd give anything to have Izaya back.

Shit, even having the others sharp and cold metallic knife pressed dangerously against his throat was a hundred times better than what he was feeling now that Izaya was gone. Missing to be exact. No one knows for sure what happened to him nor where he disappeared too.

Damn that bastard. If only the deep and hollow hole in his chest could be mended.

Che, How ironic. And to think that the flea was the only one who could fix him anymore. Pathetic.

With a ragged sigh, Shizuo wandered into the kitchen bypassing the lights and carelessly tossed his recently purchased items on the counter top. Closing his eyes, he winced at the heavy clanking sound upon the hard surface. Taking a deep breath, he silently eyed the contents before him. Fist clenching as he mentally counted the multiple packs of cigarettes and obscene amount of beer bottles slipping from the wet confines. Damn. How ridiculous he must've really looked, like a wretched alcoholic walking through town with arm fulls of the only addictions known to be as 'his only cure'.

In all honesty, Shizuo was not a fan of beer. In fact he hated it, but in a sick way it reminded him of a certain someone. Someone that he desperately missed. Someone that never once backed away in fear when he erupted in violence. The only someone that he managed scar for life. The only someone he thought would be impossible to break.

'I guess we all break at some point.'

Hell he has.

Eying the sweating glasses beer for several moments, Shizuo contemplated on what to do next. A hot shower would be nice. If anything it would ease his weary body for a short while. Unfortunately it did nothing to numb his thoughts. He hated knowing the truth of what he had become. A monster. His hatred for himself only continued to grow. The horrific memories hammered painfully into his brain.

Without hesitation he stripped his clothes and carelessly tossed them aside before stepping into the warming shower.

He felt stuck and dear god how he hated it. This whole situation was now beyond his control. Slowly it drove him into insanity, pushing him further into demise. Izaya was everywhere. Always on his mind.

Every time he thought about the missing informant, he would remember that night. A living nightmare. It was disgusting. It was dirty. He was damned.

He was going to burn in hell.

He even pushed himself to be sympathetic. Often times wondered what Izaya must've felt like. Seriously what the fuck was wrong with him? What the hell was he even thinking? For Christ sake why wasn't he thinking? It was agony. How was he supposed to live with himself knowing he's condemned such a horrid thing?

Shizuo sighed. Shit, would anyone even miss him if he died and went to hell?

Yea fucking right.

He had no other options. Days were shorter and nights were longer. Rarely could he sleep at night. It was no longer a luxury to be blessed with. That god damn gorgeous and horribly broken face haunted him every night. He was now terrified of his own dreams.

To think he was convicted of...NO!

Damn it! Damn it! DAMN IT!

What the fuck was he supposed to do now?

With his tall naked form standing under the hot sprays of water, Shizuo growled lifting his arms and smashing his fists into the shower wall. Bam! Bam! Bam! Over and over again he banged the wall letting out all his frustration. Biting his lip to fight back a scream, broad shoulders trembled, blonde hair clung around his face as he slowly turned head up towards the ceiling.

Closing his dull eyes, a soft sigh slipped passed his bruised lips as he turned around and fell back. His bare backside made contact with the slick wall. Leaning over, Shizuo reached one arm out to help support his body weight, while his free hand trailed through his tangled wet hair. It was only flashes of moments like this where he could find even the slightest amount comfort anymore.

To be honest, it was the only warmth he was able to confined in ever since that night...that night he and Izaya...the night that he...

Tch, he couldn't even fucking say it.

Ugly words kept taunting him. It got to a point to where he often got headaches.

Without any success, Shizuo would try just about anything in his power to ignore the echos lingering in his head. Many times he's tried to shut out the thoughts by shoving them all in the back of his mind, in hopes of forgetting, but all failed only to have them return haunting him more and more each time. It was a curse and he was suffering. There was no escape. The images couldn't be hidden, nor the desperate hoarse sounds of Izaya's plea...

Izaya's cries. His tear stained face. His wide eyes holding Shizuo's reflection. It was so beautiful in all the wrong ways. Labeling himself as a fucking criminal; a perpetrator. Never would he forgive himself.

'Izaya...I'm so sorry...God I'm so fucking sorry...'

Permanently malfunctioned, his mind shifted gears. The strain was pulling him down. The weight was too much to bear, brutally compressing against his chest till his lungs decided to give out. It was too clear. He was officially drowning within his own despair.

The pure definition of corrupted.

A true fuck up. The scars, irreversible.

Clenching his fist tightly, nails digging painfully into his skin, Shizuo growled as his knees buckled beneath him, his strength slipping away, his body collapsing to his knees, his powerful hands bracing the fall. A weak sob trickled from his wet lips.

Never ending sprays of water attacked his shivering body, brutally masking over his face.

The warm droplets of water drenching his hair spilled over his red rimmed eyes while tracing lazily along his rigid body. The feather like touch tickling his taut skin as he watched them until being swept away, disappearing down the filthy drain along with his dignity.

There was nothing left of him. Nothing but regret. Nothing but agony.

The unforgiving guilt had him lowering his head in shame. The remorse was eating him from the inside, out. He couldn't fight it. Izaya was no longer here. His desired presence was shattered. Gone.

Shizuo was caving in. His tall frame fading out as he leaned forward to rest his weary head against the porcelain floor. Eyes burned with grief as he came face to face with the flawlessness of the white surface. Reminding him of the smooth pale skin he kissed many times. That soft and gorgeous surface he littered with pleasing marks, claiming ownership with a sick smile.

'I deserve this...I...deserve...this...I...'

Balling his fists against the floor on either side of his head, Shizuo parted his lips and gasped for air. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he didn't even realize he was holding his breath. Water flowed over his lips, the fresh taste coating his tongue. It had him clenching his eyes shut with a pathetic whimper. There was not fighting it. It was so warm, so fresh. The clean flavor tasted like 'him'. It was so pure so perfect.

Izaya was perfect.

Why couldn't he see that before? Shizuo's without a doubt has never been so physically attached to another being. He's never know what it was like to love and yet now he wasn't so sure.

There's just no way...

Mumbling incoherently, Shizuo was loosing his mind. Greedily, he licked at the droplets glistening on his hands. Savoring the delightful taste, Shizuo devoured the the only thing that even in the slightest resembled the only man he severely missed. His crimson eyed lover.

Lover? Really?

'Che, in what dimension do I have the right to qualify as his lover?'

Izaya made have loved him at one time, but that kind feeling was long gone. He unrightfully abused such a gift.

Now look at him. A damn weak fool.

With his face pressed flat against the shower floor, Shizuo had easily lost track of time. He laid there for so long he almost forgot where he was. It was no wonder that the waters warmth no longer held up. Though the freezing wetness now caressed his body, he didn't even flinch as the chill sank deep down into his bones. He couldn't find the will to care.

Angry and unrelenting droplets seared his skin, almost burning at touch. It had him frozen in place. God it was fucking cold, yet for odd reason he couldn't comprehend he felt obligated to stay. Sure it was cold, but the numbness of it was the only thing embracing him right now. He deserved nothing more than to wallow in misery alone.

And dear god did he feel so alone.

Was what Izaya said true? Did he mean it when he said he loved him? Would he have reacted differently if Izaya told him face to face? Would that ruby eyed man ever forgive him even in the slightest?

Hell, would that flea even decide to ever come back...home?

Just thinking about it has his heart hammering in his chest. What a relief that would be. It was hard to imagine what would happen, how it would happen. Would he react in a pleasant way to be able to catch a glimpse that gorgeous face that continued to torment him day and night?

He only hoped so. Right now he'd give anything to have that fleabag back in his arms.

Licking his ice cold lips, eyes clenched shut, Shizuo's breath ran short. "Come back to me, you bastard..."

Just like that, without further reason, the final sting has been cut.

Shizuo howled in anger, his powerful fists banging repeatedly against the tile floor. Over and over again, letting out his frustrations, he punched, punched, punched and didn't stop until his skin split and his knuckles bled. Even then he didn't stop him, he pounded the ground until his arms grew weary, falling lax over his head. Charcoal eyes blurred with an angry haze, a smile forming upon his lips as the color red filled his line of sight. Yes, so beautiful it was. He loved the color of blood, it was so much the color of Izaya's eyes. So warm, so beautiful, so radiant, so Izaya.

Leaning back weakly, Shizuo's dark lifeless like eyes watched in fascination as his blood mixed with the cold water, turning a dark pink hue as it swirled around before making it's escape. He couldn't take his eyes away as he watched a part of him swimming away into the drain below. Just like a certain someone who has also become a part of him. A certain someone that too managed to slip away. Something so precious that he blindly lost.

Would somebody show pity on his soul?

"Please Izaya...I'm so sorry, I'm so fucking sorry..." he whispered cradling his wounded hands to his chest. "If you let me, I'll do what ever I can to make it up to you. Give me one more chance to make this right...please Izaya...please..." he begged.

What he wouldn't give to see that smile again.

It was about time for him to get up before he killed himself with pneumonia. Weakly pushing himself up with wobbly arms, Shizuo carefully stood up reaching to the shower handle to turn it off before stepping out into cold air. His wet body shivering from exposer; trembling with discomfort. Rubbing his arms together, he quickly grabbed a clean towel from his top cabinet, using it to ruffle his wet hair as he trailed quickly to his bedroom for fresh clothes.

Settling for the first thing he found, Shizuo tossed his towel on the bed, slipped on some gray sweatpants -not bothering with a shirt- and moved back to the bathroom to bandage his bruised hands before dragging his body back into the kitchen for a beer. Glancing down at the many bottles littering his counter, Shizuo quickly snatched one without another thought, popped open the cap and forcefully chugged it down, tossing it and reaching for another.

Not only did his head hurt like hell, but he felt like utter and complete shit all around. With nothing else to occupy his mind, he really had nothing more better to do to than to drink. Izaya loved to drink beer. Shizuo was never found of such a sad taste, but he wanted to somehow get closer to the image of a better place. Swallowing down his second beer, Shizuo reached for a third. The bitter taste comforted him. Consuming the bitter taste reminded him of the devil who left him. Izaya was infecting his brain.

Smokes and drinks, nothing was working. The infestation took over him.

In these dark times, Shizuo wished that he could just push the button. Put his mond and body in shut down. If he was lucky, maybe he could even waste away into nothingness. He was determined. And the only way for the great escape was to drink. Alcohol was always the best solution. He was going to drink and drink until he drowned his regrets.

Maybe this would would be better without him spoiling it.

Bringing the new beer to his lips, Shizuo hissed after chugging down his third beer. "Fuck this shit tastes like shit." he spat. "Fucking shit." Oh well. Not like it mattered anyway. At this rate it wouldn't take long for his taste buds to become non functional. Ignoring the churning flavor staining his mouth, Shizuo downed the forth beer with little effort. After his fifth beer, Shizuo had proven himself correct. He could no longer taste the bitterness that assaulted his tongue.

He could barely taste the cigarettes he smoke in between. Damn, and he liked cigarettes.

Beer after beer, Shizuo's head started to spin. Bringing a hand up and rest his head with a low groan, he dared to look at the ground below his feet. Maybe that wasn't the best idea. Everything around him was spinning. He felt sick. His stomach began to claw with nausea making his movements felt sluggish.

Fuck he couldn't even function properly. Far from the right mind, but it was good. He yearned for this vertigo. It was the high that he was looking for. It wasn't enough. He wanted more. It was never enough.

Reaching for another beer, the blonde slouched over the counter as he lazily popped open the cap. Wasting no time, he brought the glass to his parted lips and hungerly consumed the bitter beverage.

Fuck yes.

He was so wasted that he didn't realize it when he lazily stumbled into his living too. Realization hit him after he his body lost balance and making contact with the hard wood floor. Shit he was dizzy. With many failed attempts, Shizuo was finally able to roll over onto his back without spilling his beer.

It was so fucking weird, but his body felt like it were floating and being swallowed by the earth at the same time. Closing his eyes made the dizziness worse, but he paid no mind. His stomach ached, but the sensation made him feel alive. What a funny thing to say when the only thing he could see was the his everything closing in. His vision was fading as the world around him continued to loose it's precious glow.

Maybe he was dying. Maybe hell had finally come to take him away. Heh, isn't that rich. To want to die because it was the only solution for escape. Even hell had to better than this. It just had to be. If he was lucky, maybe he'd even meet Izaya there one day. Wouldn't that be nice.

Such false hope.

Ridiculous.

Everything was caving in and through haziness of his mind, Shizuo smiled as crimson eyes flashed before his eyes before his brain shut down, turning his world completely black.

Where are you?

Izaya.

...

...

Warm rays of light draped across wooden floor splaying over the unconscious sprawled out form. Several minutes ticked by before the dozing blonde made any notice to the unwelcoming light. Even with his heavy lids shielding his eyes, the sun's warmth managed to sear his vision.

It was morning. Damn and he hated mornings. Just a current reminder of knowing he was still alive and for what? There was no reason for him here. What purpose did he ever have? To be blunt, he was nothing but a disgrace; a waste of space.

A disease.

Licking his dry lips, a broken hiccup slipped it's way through the parted flesh. Fuck, his mouth felt parched and it didn't help that a horrible taste lingered in the back of his throat. Disgusting.

Groaning low, Shizuo sighed, blinking his eyes open registering that he was laying half naked and utterly uncomfortably on hard ground.

Tch. What the hell happened?

Dragging his body over to his side, Shizuo moaned in pain. Sharp stabs of painful like needles struck him from head to toe. Jesus fucking christ he felt like shit. His entire body ached. He was so hyper sensitive to touch right now, that even the hairs on his head felt like they could bleed at any second. The constant sharp pain drilling into his skull only made the sensation that much worse. His body lacked the strength for movement. Somehow he managed to feel worse than falling from a four story building. He would know and boy did that hurt like a bitch.

Damn. Maybe he did fall? Hell, he barely remembered where he was.

He really could be dead for all he knew.

Taking a deep breath, Shizuo carefully flexed his fingers just to make sure his entire body was still in tact. He just needed to make sure. He wasn't even sure how, but his limp body managed to feel ten times heavier than normal. A dead weight. He felt stuck, like he was glued to the ground, eventually to become one with the surface below.

Fuck he felt like shit.

He really needed to get his ass up.

Without much thought, the blonde's lashes flutter open only to have him flinch and turning away in reflex from the direct sunlight. Clenching his eyes shut, the sensitivity only made his nausea worsen. The thick bitter smell of spilled alcohol and cigarette smoke tickled his senses. At least it smelled like home. It was nice to know he didn't go out making of fool of himself in public. Though he still couldn't exactly recall what had happened the night before.

Again he felt like shit on top of shit. Ugh what a sickening feeling. He couldn't even think straight. Dwelling in misery succeeded in having Shizuo silently cursing like a mad man.

In this very moment, he wished he really was dead.

Bringing his hands to his face, he groaned again as he rubbed his temples. This was going to be a long day. Maybe he could slip a couple sleeping pills. Sleep it all off. Hopefully that is.

Placing both hands flat on the ground, Shizuo grunted in discomfort as he forced his achy arms to push his upper weight up to his knees. The unexpected movement caused his vision to blur, his head spinning for several long seconds before he found the strength to crawl his way over to his sofa.

He felt like a fucking insect blindly crawling and weakly climbing upon the sofa. Pulling his weight up only to collapse among the cushioned surface. Oh that much so much better than the cold hard floor.

Closing his tired eyes, Shizuo sighed as he shifted around in attempted to find a suitable position. This is where he was, this is where he'll stay. Surely it would be ok to just rest a bit longer. Not bothering to check the time, the faced down blonde buried his face into the couch cushions. The silence soothing him into unconsciousness once more. The last thing that lingered in his mind before slipping away was 'Fuck, I'm going to be late for work.'

Then he was out.

...

...

Shizuo woke up later that day puking his intestines out. He ended up staying home that day.

...

...

Izaya was still on his mind.

...

...

He needed an escape.

...

...

That night, Shizuo was drinking again.

It was no surprise. At this point nothing really mattered to him anymore. For days-no-for weeks, reality was the only thing worth escaping. For so long Shizuo blamed himself for what happened, but fuck, that flea bastard was partially to blame as well. If his skinny little ass weren't such a coward, he'd still be here facing Shizuo face to face like a man. Instead he chose to flee.

"Fucking bastard!"

Fuck him for making Shizuo suffer like this. Fuck him and that pretty face of his. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck it all!

Taking another swig of his of forth beer that night, the agitated blonde fell backwards against his couch, legs spread, shoulders hunched as he once again waited for the alcohol to take it's affect.

Tonight he planned to get wasted. A repeat of last night.

A few more gulps of his beer, Shizuo sighed as he rested his head along the back of the couch. His blonde strays of hair fluttering across his face. Rubbing a free hand over his long face, Shizuo noted that a stubble of a small amount of facial hair making its way across his lower face. It wasn't very noticeable to the eye but it could be easily felt if touched.

Minutes later, a series of firm knocks echoed at the front door. Glancing up at the clock over head, Shizuo groaned in annoyance. Who the hell would come knocking on his door at this time of night. For the past 2 months he hadn't had any visitors so who could it have been this time?

Maybe if he ignored them, they'd eventually go away.

Knock knock knock.

Or not.

"I'm coming god damn it."

Mustering another groan from his lips, Shizuo grabbed his beer as he stood up. His legs screaming in protest as he made his way to the door. Was it too damn much to ask for a night alone with no disruptances? Of course it was. As of right now, all he had to do was find out who the fuck was interfering with his wallowing time, find out what it was they wanted and then quickly sending them on their way.

Bending down to peek through the peep hole, Shizuo clenched his jaw with a 'tch' before opening the door to reveal a petite busty stoic faced blonde. Vorona. He didn't have time for this.

"What?" he growled, clearly showing his annoyance.

"Shizuo-san, nice to see you." she replied turning her head up and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yea. Do you need something?"

Vorona shrugged. "Tom-san said you called in. I came to make sure you were in good health."

"M'fine." he mumbled quietly.

Nodding her head, Shizuo watched as the her blonde hair bounced around her small shoulders. Her violet eyes zeroed in on the beer in his hand. "May I come inside?"

Shizuo sighed.

Chugging down the rest of his beer, he eyed the busty blonde with hazy brown eyes. Dark vicious orbs narrowed slightly as he took his time taking in her facial expressions while eying her up and down. There was no doubt in his mind that she look absolutely divine, but then again, perhaps his drunken mind was playing tricks on him again.

He felt something stirring on the inside. Her cold eyes taking him in.

How long has it been since he's bedded a woman? He didn't want to admit it, but ever since Izaya's disappearance, not once has bringing another woman home even crossed his mind. In all honesty, in this sticky situation, he preferred to drink. Getting wasted was his new high. It was also a huge relief knowing that Kara stopped reaching out to him for sex.

Closing his eyes for a brief second, Shizuo licked his lips and leaned his body against the door frame. Running his hands though his hair, he replayed Vorona's question in his head.

Did he really want even want her here? Was he desperate enough for physical contact?

Tch. Fucking beer. It didn't help either that his couldn't function properly. Pondering multiple thoughts only made his head hurt. Tonight he wanted a night that involved no thinking. I was decided. Stealing one last glance at the hourglass blonde, Shizuo didn't think twice about his final answer before stepping aside.

...

...

From a near distance, a hooded figure dark as night watched the scene unfold with a painful regret. He knew being here was only digging a deeper grave, but he had still wanted to believe that even in the slightest chance that Shizuo would mourn for his loss. He had only hoped that he would been missed. Unfortunately he was wrong. Wasted wishes. It had become very clear that he was insignificant.

Shame on him.

Swallowing his misery, the dark figure tuned away. His backside being the last thing to be seen as he walked from the one he once knew. His face matching the disdain he felt.

How his whole world burned right before his eyes. Nothing would be the same again.

Turning his head up towards the black skies, the raven sighed as the thick cool air brushed his pale cheeks. His crimson eyes, glossed with unshed tears. He felt ashamed.

To think this affected him the way it did.

'What is wrong with me?'

A breeze rolled in ruffling his hair. It smelled like rain.

Taking a deep breath, inhaling the heavy scent, the shadowed figure brushed his ice cold hands over his face. His fragile body shivering from the night chill. He never did like rain. Especially now when it did nothing but resurface tainted memories now. Signifying the things he wanted to forget most; a betrayal that clawed him to the very core.

Looking over his shoulder back at the handsome blonde, Izaya weakly smiled. His lips trembling slightly before falling into a saddened guise.

His time here was done. This was last time he would mourn for him. The heart he once had has been infected with a deadly venom. Killing the man inside.

Izaya Orihara was dead.

Without a another glace behind, the figure disappeared from sight as he blended into the black night. A breathless whisper was the only thing left behind before dissolving in the wind.

"Goodbye, Shizuo Heiwajima."

...

...

**What Izaya didn't know, was that she never went inside.**

**Izaya never liked the rain, but he has grown to hate it more since it reminds him of the night Shizuo broke him.**

**I was originally going to end it with 8 chapters total but I've decided to go with 9. Next chapter is basically a filler. Maybe I'll trick you all and even add a little romance hehehe**

**Thank you again guys for sticking with me. I love you all!**

**Also I need more ideas for future stories! Any suggestions?**


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